Broken
by spidermonkey321
Summary: Bella is a young woman whose life has been shattered beyond repair. She fears the world and lives her life around her adoptive family and her four legged friend Dorito. Edward is a successful actor who feels his life is lacking something. When destiny brings them together they will have to fight against her past before they can build a future.
1. Chapter 1

Broken

Chapter 1

This must be a nightmare. It has to be. Yet something tells me that I need to escape. I can't breathe and the sun is burning me but I need to keep running. I try not to look behind me in order to keep pushing forward. My legs are tired but I can't stop. I can feel him behind me. I can feel his stare burning in my back and the terror flowing in my veins. My heart is pounding on my chest and my lungs are fighting for air. I cannot stop. He is close and I know he is here to finish what he started. His panting reminds me of that horrific night. Flashes of memories assault my brain as he continues to chase me. The smell of blood, my dad screaming in agony. My mom screaming. Laughter. The sharp sound of bones being broken. More screaming. Gun shot. My dad is dead. Laughter. Several sets of limbs restraining me. Panting and muted cursing. My mom begging. Another gunshot. Her blood spilling on the floor. More laughter. Cheers of encouragement as the burly man inside me beats the innocence out of me. Pain. My puppy barking in its crate. A different set of hands on me. More pain. The smell of drunken breath. His face looking at my ravaged body with a smirk and his rough voice telling me I was a good fuck for all. Gunshot. Warmth. More laughter. Sirens. Hurried footsteps. Darkness.

The memories make my stomach twist and my body shake. A tiny voice in my head tells me that I need to focus. I look at my surroundings. Main Street is two blocks away. Keep going Isabella! My mom's voice yells at me. I know it's impossible but my mind continues to listen. "You must fight baby. Promise me." Her voice pleads again and this gives me a surge of adrenaline that keeps my legs moving. I can see people ahead and I know he won't hurt me there. I push my legs forward with everything I got and I smile because I know that I am going to win again. He will not finish me.

As soon as I reach Main Street he disappears. I look behind me and I can only see the alley but I know he is close. I stop in the middle of the street and feel the need to vomit. I bent over and let the nausea take over me. I feel the disgusted stares of people but I don't care. I am safe again. He cannot touch me in front of all these witnesses. Once my lungs begin function I try to calm my nerves by breathing in and out slowly. A lady standing at the bus stop is eyeing me warily so I keep walking as I breathe. I'll be home soon. Suddenly I remember that I was not alone when I saw him walking towards me at the park. I look around me and I don't see him. I run back towards the alley and frantically yell his name. Nothing. Dorito is gone. He took him. I hear myself scream as the darkness envelops me.

I wake up in the hospital. I look around to see Carmen sleeping uncomfortably in a chair. My mouth is dry and I am parched. I try to remember why I am here but my mind is hazy. There is a faint knock on the door and a nurse walks into the room carrying some sort of equipment. She notices I am awake and asks me how I am. I try to answer but I am so confused I don't know what to respond. Carmen awakens and walks towards me. As soon as her hand reaches me I begin to cry. I am safe. She's got me. I hug her fiercely and I allow myself to cry.

The nurse walks out of the room in search of my doctor. Slowly I begin to remember what happened. I was sitting on a bench talking to Dorito when I noticed a man crossing the street walking towards me. He was far but I suddenly felt every hair in my body raise and my stomach clenched. It was him. My memory is fuzzy but as the episode replays in my mind, my heart begins to ache. I know I was safe inside the hospital so I cannot make sense of the pain in my heart. Carmen holds me tightly as she whispers reassuring words in my ear. "We will find him Bella I promise but you need to be strong baby girl. You need to stay focused baby" she says softly but I can hear her breath hitch and feel her tears on my neck "You cannot let this take you away from us again. He needs you Bella, we all do. You just have to stay with us so we can look for him. Can you do that for him Bella?

Her words confuse me, my mind is swirling while trying to make sense of things she is saying. The ache in my heart began to crush me as I suddenly remember the empty alley. "Dorito is gone!" I shriek "he took him!" My mind is now trying to catch up as all the memories flood in. The park, the alley, running, my mom's voice… "Carmen he's got him!" She holds me still as I try to get up from the bed. Her voice is louder as she begs me to calm down. "How can you ask me to calm down? He took Dorito!" I scream loudly "Bella, honey you need to stay in reality baby. You are doing so good baby don't give up now" She says in a tone that sounds a bit frustrated. "Carmen I am in reality! He took my dog!" My breath is shallow and I feel dizzy but I need to get out of here. I have to find him. Two male nurses come into the room and hold me down as I try to get up and run out of there. I kick them as they both carry me back to the bed. "Why are you doing this to me Carmen? Please tell them to let me go find him! We have to find him before he kills him!" I keep fighting as hard as I can but I know I'll lose as soon as the clear liquid the nurse just injected to my IV enters my body. I pant and beg as much as I can but the second nurse manages to handcuff me to the bed. As the medication enters my system my eyes feel heavy and my body becomes numb. I look up to Carmen trying my best to implore her with my eyes but she just grabs my handcuffed hand and run her fingers through my hair. Her eyes are swimming in tears but she tries to keep her voice leveled as she whispers "stay in reality Bella. You know he cannot hurt you again. He is in jail. They all are. You are safe baby girl." Her voice shakes as she pleads wholeheartedly "Stay with us. You are doing great! I don't know what happened that caused you to feel threatened but I promise you, You are safe and no one will hurt you again" she looks at my eyes and tells me that Alice and Rose are out there looking for Dorito and they will not rest until he comes home. "We will find him baby but you need to help us" she continues talking but her voice fades as I slowly succumb to darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello guys. I am new to the site and have never written fiction before so I apologize if my story isn't perfect. I am still trying to figure out how to get a beta in order to clean it up and make it easier to read but I hope I can do it soon. Broken is a story that has been developing in my head for the last couple of months but since I have never written fiction before, I was terrified to actually type it. It is an angsty story and it has some dark themes such a rape, murder, suicide and mental illness but it also has the bonding and romance we all love to see between Bella and Edward. I rated it M for this reason and because it may contain some lemons eventually. I appreciate reviews and plan to respond to all of them as soon as I figure out how. Please keep them coming!**

**SM owns the characters. **

EPOV

I am a lucky guy. I have everything I can possibly want. A loving family, a successful career, good friends, more money than I actually need and according to the millions of fans that scream at me on a daily basis, I have good looks. Honestly, I don't think I am anything beyond ordinary looking and certainly don't believe I deserve such a reaction from them but like I said, I am lucky. However, we always want what we don't have and although I can't figure out what that is yet, I know that I am missing _something. _I cannot help to feel like a complete asshole because really, I should be the happiest man on earth but the truth is that I am not. I spend my life in meetings, photo shoots, media events, more meetings, charity work, and a few months a year I actually do what my actual job description entails which is acting. Yet, I can't help but feel that my life is meaningless.

I have been a fan of films since I was a kid. I was always intrigued by how they were made and constantly begged my parents to take me to the multiplex. While Emmett and Jasper spent their summers wooing girls and playing every sport ever invented, I was content in my room watching movies or writing scripts. While my brothers teased me incessantly, my parents were very supportive of my creative ways and never laughed at my pitiful attempts at movie making. My mom in fact, bought me my first video cam and designated me as the official videographer of family events. She was my biggest supporter. We would sit for hour watching my videos and she always offered constructive criticism. She didn't even get mad when I spent an entire tape recording the turkey at one thanksgiving. I thought that it was only logical for the turkey to be the star of the film since it was "turkey day".

The day before she died, she asked me to record her farewell messages for my brothers and father. She told me she knew it would be hard for me, but there was no one else she trusted with such an important task. "Edward you are the best director and I have always wanted the best for my kids. I know you will be wining Oscars in a few years and I want to go to heaven knowing that my last gift for my boys was recorded by the best and most successful director of all times" I cried like a little girl while she soothed me with her feeble hand running through my hair. "You can do anything you want sweetheart, even if people do not accept your choices, make fun of them or even stand against you, please follow your heart. I will be there guiding you" she said after I finished packing my camera and tapes. She hugged me tightly and told me she loved me for the last time. I walked out of there promising God that if he let her live, I would never see a film again. Unfortunately, he did not hear my prayer.

The next day, I was cutting out some roses from our garden in order to take them to the hospital when my father's sobs interrupted me. I walked over to the other side of the garden and found him kneeling on the floor crying. His face was distorted with acute pain and he was having trouble breathing. I wanted to go over and help him but somehow I knew he needed to be alone. It was at that moment that I realized my mother was dead and my life as I knew it was over. I knew that my heart was forever broken and no matter what happened, a part of it will always be missing.

Thankfully my brothers and I are close. We helped each other deal with the loss of our mom. Emmett took it the hardest because he worshipped my mother. To him she was an angel sent by God to him. There was nothing he would not do for her and spent every minute of his life trying to make her smile. He and Jasper were adopted by my parents after he attempted to steal my mom's purse. He was only eight years old when he walked up to her outside a mall with a knife in his hand. My mom noticed he was only wearing a light sweater and torn jeans that didn't fit him properly. It was an inadequate outfit not adept for the gruesome Chicago winter so she knew at once he was not a career criminal. In fact she was sure that such a young kid had no idea how to even use the knife he carried. She could have run away or called the police but instead she handed him her purse. It was when he apologized to her for scaring her that my mom realized that he was crying. "Why are you crying?" she asked him kindly "Because I am going to hell lady. I just broke God rules and stole your money" He replied with a weepy face. "And why are you doing it if you know is wrong?" she said "Because I have to make sure my brother eats and no one wants to give me a job" he replied honestly.

My mom knew at that moment that she could not walk away from such a child. "Well, I don't think God will be too mad at you if you are just doing this to help your brother. In fact, he sent me here to help you. Can you tell me where are your parents at?" Emmett looked at her curiously and asked her if she was the Christmas angel his grandma told him about. "Something like that" she said " But you need to tell me the truth. Why do you need to help your brother? Did you run away from home?" she asked unable to rein the desperation in her voice. "My mom died and my dad was a bad man so he went to jail. The police lady wanted to take my brother and me to a home but I know they will try to take Jasper away so we escaped. Are you going to call the police?" he asked her warily "I will not but only if you let me take you and your brother home and let me feed you." She responded "I make excellent gingerbread cookies" she emphasized in order to convince him. Emmett took a minute to decide but eventually agreed. He took her to where Jasper was waiting while informing her that he would cut her if he tried to hurt him or his brother. My mom assured him she was a good person and all she wanted was to help. Her heart broke when she found the beautiful golden haired four year old sitting on a curb waiting for his brother. When Emmett explained to Jasper that the lady was a Christmas angel, Jasper's eyes widened with hope and his little arms wrapped around her. It was at that moment that my mom realized God had sent her the kids she had fervently prayed for the last ten years.

When dad arrived that night, he found two skinny kids laughing in delight as his wife chased them around the house. The sheer joy in her face was enough to convince him to do anything in his power to keep the kids. After a year of paperwork and court meetings, Emmett and Jasper officially became members of the Cullen family. My parents doted on them and were happy to be blessed with such wonderful kids. I think I was the bow that tied up their happy family nice and tight. She got pregnant with me just after Emmett 12th birthday and while she had a difficult pregnancy, I managed to arrive to this world. She often told me I was her "little fighter" because I fought against the odds to make her dreams come true. Needless to say, I felt like a super hero.

I still miss her. I often wonder if this feeling of sadness and melancholy is because of her absence. I feel empty, lost and directionless. While I still aspire to direct my own movie one day, I am happy just acting. I like playing different characters and often become so involved with them that I forget Edward Cullen. It's a liberating feeling. When I have time to be home I spend time with Leila, my guitar and my dog bear. They are my two best friends. I love to sit in my studio playing Leila and drinking beer while bear chews his bones and sporadically barks a couple of accompanying notes. Music is my other passion. I would love to be able to compose music and write my own lyrics, but when I try to do so I realize there is nothing in my life worth singing off. I have everything but a reason to play. The realization of this makes me so sad I want to cry but I don't.

BPOV

I am finally home. I missed my room so much. This is the only place I feel completely safe at. My entire world is this room and I am glad to be back. The hospital stay was nightmarish. I hate to be drugged and restrained as if I were a dangerous lunatic. This time was even harder because I really wanted to help Rose and Alice search for Dorito. I cannot believe I abandoned him. Maybe he is hiding because he is tired of being with me, the crazy bitch that left him in a park. No I know that he would never do that. He loves me, and he is all I got. He is the last piece of my family.

It has been two weeks since the day I had my last episode. The details of it are hazy but I remember knowing Marcus was following me. I remember the fear in my belly as I ran. I hate myself for not being able to handle things. My parents must be so disappointed at me for being such a weak person. I try my best to be normal and do things that would make them proud but I cannot handle the fear. Ever since the day Marcus Volturi crossed my path, my life has been a mixture of fear, grief and an immense sadness. I miss my mom and her crazy antics. I also miss my dad and his over protectiveness. It's funny how something that used to unnerve me so much is what I miss the most. I remember the many times we fought because he would not let me go to sleep overs or stay out later than 10 PM. "Bella I am just trying to protect you. There is a dangerous world out there and you are my little girl. I will never let anybody hurt you" he would say calmly only to be met by a set of rolling eyes and a pouty attitude from me. If I only knew then how much he would endure in order to protect me, I would have been a more obedient daughter.

Sometimes I feel so guilty. I know they both died trying to protect me. Perhaps if I would have not been screaming he would not have tried to fight them. I should have stayed quiet and let them hurt me without complain. Maybe then my dad would have not died. The memory of his eyes looking at me as he was being beaten is forever etched in my brain. He looked so desperate. He would cry out every time they broke one of his bones but he never failed to look after me. My mom knew that the men wanted to rape me so she offered them her body instead. Two of them did as another one fired the bullet that killed my dad. The whole time those men were raping her she kept telling me that everything was ok. Her face was contorted with pain but her eyes never left me. She kept asking me to look at her eyes so I would not see them hurting her. I was very scared but did what she asked. I kept looking at her beautiful eyes until Marcus decided it would be fun to let her see all the fun they were going to have with me. My mom fought like a madwoman but the men that had her restrained kept beating her. Once Marcus took my virginity, she started talking to me again. "Bella you are ok baby be strong. You are such a brave girl. Remember the day you killed a mouse when you daddy wasn't home?" she smiled at me. It scared me. I thought she was losing her mind. But she kept talking "You are going to be ok Bella, you will survive this. You are strong girl. I love you" Marcus then cursed at her and in the next second I heard a gunshot and Marcus' high pitch laughter roaring in my ear. "Thank you Eric that bitch was giving me a headache" I wished at that moment for death to take me with them. Yet somehow I survived. I bet mom fought with whatever higher power is in charge of death in order to keep me alive. That woman was good at getting her way. "It's my way or the highway" she often said.

I must stop thinking about this. Remembering my misery is not going to help me find Dorito. I have to fix this. I need him. I need to be brave and go out with Alice and Rose. I know Marcus is in jail. Why did I get scared that day? I cannot for the love of God remember what set me off. I had been doing so well. Esme was hopeful I was making progress. She is my favorite therapist because I know she truly cares about me and I am not just a patient to her. She reminds me of my mom because her eyes could light up the entire city when she smiles. I like to make her smile just to see that. She never judges me of berates me for not being able to overcome my fears. On the contrary she holds my hand and tells me that I will be ok. Somehow, I believe her. The day I was able to walk to the park by myself, she gave me a hug so tight I thought she would choke me. I could see her eyes water with restrained tears and I knew then she truly loves me. Ethics be damned. I know she does.

Thinking about Esme makes me feel a little bit more relaxed, so I am ready to go out to look for Dorito. I know Carmen will be difficult but I must convince her to let me go to the park. I have to be strong and find my Dog. I know he must be looking for me.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you very much for continuing to read my story. I am extremely happy because Hazeldene has offered to help me edit this story as a Beta. She has been my guiding light to some amazing stories and the one that introduced me to the world of fan fiction. I am never going to be able to thank her enough for all the wonderful things she has done for me.**

**I hope you are enjoying the plot and if you have any suggestions or comments please don't forget to post a review. **

EPOV

My brain is completely fried. I have spent the last ten hours in the most boring meeting ever. I should have just let Jasper handle it but sometimes I feel guilty. After all, it is _my_ career but he does such a wonderful job at handling it that it is easy for me to leave the burden of it to him. I know he doesn't mind, he loves being my manager but still, letting him suffer through such torture alone seems like a selfish thing to do. I am just glad we are on our way home. I want to go home and pay a visit to Laila. I haven't seen her lately and my fingers are itching to touch her. Mike will probably be disappointed because I will not be accompanying him to our favorite bar, but I just think I could handle it tonight. I am afraid that if another stupid paparazzi shoves his camera to my face, I will shove right back in his ass so for the sake of Jasper's sanity, I try not to go out when I am in this mood.

I am usually not a violent person but sometimes I feel like a zoo animal. I am not sure how or when acting became a circus show but I wish it hadn't. It's hard to be taken seriously as an actor when your entire life is on display. I mean I don't remember Jack Nicholson or Robert DeNiro being chased by paparazzi incessantly or having their business posted all over magazines. On the contrary, their careers were documented by respectful journalists who sincerely cared about their work integrity.

I don't recall a single instance in which an interviewer asked them questions about their hairstyle or body hygiene. I mean who the hell cares whether my hair is washed or not? I did my damn job so why would they not want to ask me about it? I have been to so many interviews where 90 percent of the questions are not related to my line of work. When that happens though, I try to say the most irreverent things to rile the reporters. I get a kick out of leaving them speechless after I say something stupid. Well sometimes I do say stupid things for no reason, but I blame it on the fact that I am usually nervous as hell. I don't like being in the spotlight, I never have unless it's on a stage, so when I know that pretty much half of the world will be listening to my words my brain ceases to work. My brothers dubbed me "brain mush" right after my second live interview and I often find them laughing their butts off while watching my "funny moments" videos, created by some of my adoring fans who seem to really like my brain mushiness.

BPOV

It's been three weeks without Dorito and I am going crazy with worry. I refuse to accept that he may not come back because if I do, I am not sure I will be able to function again. Knowing that the last member of my family is gone will surely end me.

I have done my best to convince everyone that I am ok and handling things. I don't think I am being too convincing, judging by the watchful glances I get every time we go out. It's funny how they are all trying to be inconspicuous about it, but it very easy to tell they are all waiting for another melt down. Today at the park a man attempted to approach me in order to give me a pamphlet and Rose literally jumped in front of me in order to deflect him. It would be funny it if wasn't so pathetic. They know that it scares me to death to be talked to by strangers and are sure that would set off a panic attack. I hate to do this to them. Why can't I be normal like other people? I would love to be able to talk to the man about whatever it is he is selling and make conversation about the weather but I can't, because I am a freak.

To make matters worse, I cannot take my medication because it makes my mind fuzzy. Usually I welcome the hazy, zombie-like state they put me in because I love anything that makes me feel numb. However, I have to be strong. I have to fight with my mind and make it function even if that means having to deal with my everlasting pain. It's been tempting to take my magic pills, especially when I wake up drenched in sweat after having the very realistic nightmares I get every night. It almost feels like my subconscious wants to punish me because as soon as I fall asleep, images of Marcus and my parents dead bodies assault me. The pain is almost unbearable but I must be strong, Dorito needs me and there is nothing I will not do in order to get him back.

EPOV

I am covered in blood and my body hurts. I feel like every muscle in my body is tense as I try to get in the shower. I am honestly trying to make sense of what happened. We were driving home after the meeting when Jasper decided to stop by the In and Out Burger close to our home. We stopped on a red light and I was silently musing about how beautiful the twilight is when I looked up on the opposite road and saw a small dog running with a leash attached to its neck, but with no owner attached to it. The dog looked confused and tired. I asked Jasper to pull over and got out of the car in order to try to catch the dog. I saw the truck turning as the dog was about to cross the street. Panic hit me when I realized the driver would not be able to stop before hitting the animal. Before I could make sense of things, I was crossing the street without even looking for oncoming traffic. I heard Jasper scream but all I knew was that I had to save the dog. Everything happened in slow motion; the screeching sound of the brakes hit my ears before I heard the loud thud. I saw the front tire of the truck run over the fragile animal while I was desperately moving towards it.

The truck skidded and the dog was limp on the road as a second car was fast approaching. Without really thinking about what I was doing I jumped in front of the car as I tried to shield the dog from further damage. Luckily the car managed to stop before it collided with _my _body. As soon as the car stopped I hear the frantic screaming of several people and Jasper's arms on me as he tried to determine if I was hurt. "What the hell are you doing Edward?" he kept screaming "are you hurt?" the panic in his voice was evident. I looked down and saw the limp body next to me and lots of blood but I want sure it some of it belonged to me.

I saw the dog's eyes open and his little face grimaced with pain. Without giving a second thought I reached for the dog and cradled him in my arms. "Jasper move! We have to take him to the animal hospital now!" I yelled. It was only when I tried to walk that I felt the pain in my leg. I heard Jasper gasp "Edward, your leg!" he yelped. I knew I was bleeding but I honestly didn't care. All I wanted was to make sure the dog survived. "Jasper I am ok. Get in the car!" I all but barked at him.

The tone of my voice made him react and he jumped towards the car. I got in the back seat and laid the dog on the seat trying to make sense of his injuries. I saw that one of his rear legs had the skin ripped apart and that he was having trouble breathing. There was blood all over the seat by the time we made it to Dr. Gerandy's clinic. "I need a doctor! I screamed as Jasper and I walked in. A nurse came rushing and took the dog's limp body away from me. Soon there were several people looking down at him. Maggie one of the nurses I recognized from previous visits with Bear, came over to talk to me. "What happened Mr. Cullen? She said before she looked down and gasped as she noticed my bleeding leg. It was at the same time that I noticed it as well. "I am going to get help don't move" she ordered.

The pain in my leg began to throb and I tried not to wince as Jasper inspected my wound. He was unusually quiet but I could see several emotions in his eyes. The most prevalent was worry but I could see anger and frustration. "It's ok Jas it doesn't hurt so much" I said trying to be reassuring but unable to keep the wince of pain out of my face. "Compared to what could have happened today I should be thankful for that I suppose" he was definitely angry. "Do you mind telling me what the hell happened?" he snapped. "I don't know man, I saw the dog and the truck and jumped without thinking. I am sorry" I said apologetically. "Are you nuts? It's a DOG! And while I am an animal lover I really don't want to lose my baby brother because of one," he said. "You could have been killed or seriously injured! Did you not think about Dad? Do you not care about what would happen to us if we lose you?" his voice began to shake and I knew he was truly scared. I felt bad about causing him such anguish and very stupid for doing something so reckless. "I am truly sorry Jas, I wasn't thinking," was all I could say.

Dr. Gerandy ushered us into a small room and inspected my wound. "You are going to need a few stiches Mr. Cullen. Would you like me to call the hospital and inform them you will be stopping by? I looked at the doctor as he spoke and suddenly realized that the incident would be all over the news if I wasn't careful. "I'd prefer not to do that sir. Can you take care of it here?" I asked cautiously. "I do not want the media involved" He looked at me with a worried eyes and told me he would stitch it up for me if I promised to go have my leg properly checked out for any possible internal injuries. I promised I would and soon he was cleaning my wound and sewing it closed. I tried to be a man about it but I have always been a baby when it comes to pain. I am a wuss so I could not help but yelp when he injected the anesthetic in my leg, which made Jasper laugh. "Don't be such a pussy bro," he said. While his comment was certainly not welcomed, I was happy to see him smile again.

After a while, the nurse informed us that the dog would need surgery. One of his lungs was punctured by one of several broken ribs and the wound on his leg would require a lengthy treatment of antibiotics in order to prevent infections. "The dog may survive but it would be more cost efficient for you to just put him to sleep Mr. Cullen," she said with such a cold and detached tone that it made my blood boil. "As you can probably imagine ma'am, money is not an issue for me," I replied icily. "So do what you have to do in order to save my dog," I snapped further. She raised her eyebrows and walked away muttering something that sounded like "asshole". Eventually the vet approached us to confirm what he had suspected. He informed us that the surgery was successful and the dog was induced into a coma in order to keep him from moving. He advised us to go home and rest and promised to call me if anything happened. As he was walking out he looked at me and said "I've never been a fan of yours Mr. Cullen but after what you did today, you have my eternal devotion." He then walked out of the room leaving me speechless.

The dog had a microchip with his owner's information but the address listed on it was located in Texas. The owner's name was Charles Swan but the phone number was disconnected. It was confusing. Why would a dog from Texas be wandering the streets of LA by himself? He had a leash attached so something must have happened to the owner as he walked the dog. The thought of it made my stomach hurt. I fervently prayed that the owner was ok so that he could be reunited with his dog. I know I would be worried sick if I ever lost Bear. "Hey man we need to go home," Jasper said. "Apparently someone recorded your super hero antics and the video is now all over the news. Dad is freaking out". I groaned in frustration. "I know man; this is going to be a PR nightmare. We really need to hire a publicist," he responded.

My leg was really hurting and it became so swollen I found it difficult to walk. Jasper helped me in to the car and made sure the seat was all the way to the back so I could stretch it as much as possible. Being 6'2, there wasn't much he could do but I appreciated his thoughtfulness. Dad was waiting at the door when I staggered in. He and Jasper helped me to the couch where I was sure Dad would tear me to pieces. After sending Jasper away Dad looked at me at and exhaled slowly. I wasn't sure but I thought I saw I tear roll down. "Are you ok son?" he asked gravely. "Yeah Dad don't worry. Everything is fine." I tried to sound reassuring. "Edward don't ever scare me like that again." Here we go. "You and your brothers are everything to me. I already lost the love of my life; don't ever make me lose you too" I could tell he was truly upset and worried about me and I felt like the biggest dick for causing him to feel that way.

"I am sorry dad. I honestly wasn't thinking. I looked up and the next thing I knew was that I was on top of the dog." "Have you found the owner yet?" he asked. "No Dad, but Jasper is on it" He looked at my bandaged leg and removed the gauze in order to inspect the wound. "It's a nasty gash you got there. Does your leg hurt?" Dad is a doctor so I know better than to lie to him. "The cut itself throbs but the pain is worse when I bend my knee," I replied sheepishly. Dad began to assess my leg and determined I had a sprained knee. After bandaging my leg, he wrote a prescription for painkillers and asked Mrs. Cope to fill it at the pharmacy. He also asked her to stop by his clinic and get some crutches. "Seriously Dad? You are going to make me walk with crutches?" my tone was outraged. "Yes Edward, you will do as I say and that's the end of it," he said severely and I knew better than to cross him further. He was obviously still mad at me.

Eventually I made it to my room where I am now trying to take a shower standing awkwardly on one leg and leaning on one crutch while I try to wash my hair and keep my bandaged leg outside the water. Dad wanted to help but I put my foot down. I know Emm and Jas would not let me hear the end of it. I would rather risk my life a second time by taking a shower leaning on a stupid crutch than have to hear those two endlessly teasing me for having my daddy shower me.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think of the story so far by reviewing it. I can only improve if I know what I am messing up. **

**XOXO**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N : Thank you for reading and reviewing my story. Your kind words are truly helping me overcome my trepidations. I want to express my eternal gratitude to Edward's Eternal for her valuable advice and for writing such amazing stories. I also want to congratulate her for the upcoming release of her book "Into the Storm" and for being an inspiration to all of us dreamers who like to write from time to time. I also want to thank the ladies at "Edward's Eternal Love of Words" Facebook group for welcoming me and for offering their valuable advice and support.**

**One of the reviews suggested I should write in shorter paragraphs in order to make the story easier to read so I am going to try to do that from now on. Please let me know what you think!**

BPOV

I was listening to my favorite Bon Jovi disc while browsing the internet hoping to find a good place where I could post Dorito's picture. I knew there must be websites that helped people find their dogs. I was about to open one when I heard Alice scream. Alarmed, I ran to the living room to see what was happening. As I hurried down the stairs I heard Carmen gasp.

"What's wrong?" I yelled from the stairs unable to keep my panic in check.

"Nothing Bella sorry. We are ok," Alice said with a cracking voice.

"Stay in your room honey, we are ok. Do you need anything?" Carmen added but her voice sounded shaky and this made me suspicious. Whatever made Alice scream was something they obviously wanted to hide from me.

"No I am ok. I was just worried," I said confused.

"I saw a roach Bella and you know how terrified I am about them," Alice added in a tone that sounded like she was trying too hard to sound convincing.

This confirmed my suspicions. Something was definitely up and I had a feeling it had to do with Dorito. The fact that they had to hide it meant that whatever was going on was not good. My head began to swim and the terror began to consume me but I resisted. I was not giving up to despair until I knew for sure what had happened to my dog.

My parents were not very religious but they taught me to believe in God. My mom was adamant in her belief that God exists and that everything that happens is his doing. She taught me to say grace and pray before bed. When I was five, I asked her why there were poor people if God was good and loving.

"Bella, sometimes God does things in order to teach us a lesson, but he always has our best interest in mind. He knows what's good for us and never ever leaves us alone. Even when we suffer."

Since the day Marcus destroyed my life, I've abandoned all hope that a good, kind, compassionate God exists. If there is indeed a God, he is not a very nice one. However, as I walked down the stairs I couldn't help asking "If you do exist, please let me have my dog. You already took everything away from me, don't take him too,"

I walked as quietly as possible hoping I could eavesdrop on their conversation. They had moved to the patio so I stood behind the door that leads to it, hoping I could make out what they were saying.

"Mom we have to tell her. She deserves to know, she need to grieve If he is dead" Alice said emphasizing the word _if_.

"This will finish her Alice. I much rather have her looking for the dog than grieving him. I am afraid it will push her over the edge." Carmen's voice was determined as she continued, "she thinks of Dorito as the last member of her family so forgive me if I don't want to take it away from her."

"We do not know he is dead. The guy clearly did his best to save him. He took it with him so that means Dorito was still alive. Perhaps he took him to an animal hospital," Alice was clearly trying to be hopeful and that helped me reign my desperation.

"Perhaps, but how on earth we are going to find out? The guy is famous Alice, it's not like his information is listed in the phonebook," Carmen replied.

"Look mom I know it won't be easy but at least we know who has him. Rose and I will do our best to figure out how to reach him. If we can't reach him, we can contact the local news. They will be dying to get the exclusive," Alice smirked in an attempt to lighten the mood. However, after a few minutes of silence her tone grew serious as she added "We need to involve Bella. She is the one that knows Dorito the best and will be able to provide detailed information. I know you worry about her Mom, but she is stronger than you think."

"I don't want to see her back in the hospital Alice. She just got out!" Carmen's voice rose a bit making it evident that she was very worried.

"I know it will be hard for her Mom but she will handle it. We will help her get over this, even if Dorito is dead she will pull through. I know it," Alice replied.

I could not keep the anguish any longer so I decided to intervene.

"I want to know what happened," I said while stumbling into the patio.

"Dammit Bella were you eavesdropping on us?" Alice said pretending to be outraged but I knew she was just trying to deflect in order to have time to think for a reasonable explanation.

"Carmen what happened?" I said trying to sound serene. I needed to show her that I could handle the truth even if I was not too sure myself.

"Alice show her the video," Carmen said while slumping her shoulders in defeat. "I am so sorry Bella. Please try to stay calm ok? We are here to help you baby," she added apologetically.

Once in the living room, Alice fussed over the TV. She fast forwarded for a few minutes and then with a heavy sigh she pushed play and held my hand. She frowned when she realized I was shaking but she only held me tighter.

A woman's voice described the events . "Once again Edward Cullen has wooed the hearts of millions of fans but this time around it has nothing to do with his acting chops or his amazing physique," she said as the video showed the images of a man jumping onto oncoming traffic. "In what has been dubbed as a heroic act by animal lovers all over the world, the Hollywood hunk apparently jumped in front of a car in order to save a dog from being run over by a car. The animal had already been struck once when Mr. Cullen jumped in front of a second vehicle in order to shield the dog from further damage. Luckily for his fans, the car managed to stop before it struck him but witnesses say his leg was bleeding profusely when he fled the scene."

At this point they replayed the moment when the man jumped on the road in slow motion.

"Apparently the young actor injured his leg as he fell," the woman's voice continued. "However, his injuries did not stop him from carrying the dog to his car where he got in the back seat while his brother and manager Mr. Jasper Cullen drove him away." The woman then appeared on the screen and said it was unclear if the dog had survived but promised more information as soon as it became available.

I was frozen on my seat.

"Bella breathe" Alice commanded.

I realized I had not been breathing and let out a long whoosh as I tried to get my lungs to function.

"Bella, I know this may be overwhelming but I know you can handle this. You are a strong girl and there is still hope. You need to be strong and help us find him," Alice said.

"I know," I squeaked. I cleared my throat in order to be able to speak clearly. However, there was nothing I could do about my brain, which at this point was still processing what I had just seen.

"Are you ok honey? Do you need your pills?" Carmen said after I was unable to form a coherent sentence. She was obviously trying to avoid having to deal with another panic attack.

I managed to concentrate enough to answer.

"No thank you. I will not be taking any more medicines until Dorito comes home," I stated, watching Carmen with pleading eyes as I continued

"Alice is right. I need to be strong for him," Carmen was about to protest but I could see Alice glaring at her in an attempt to quiet her. "Ok just let me know if you need anything ok?" she responded instead, making Alice smile smugly.

"How can we find him Alice?" I asked trying my best to keep the desperation out of my voice but not quite succeeding.

"We must find out what is his official contact information and go from there," she responded.

"It will probably be difficult to reach him so we can attempt to do it through his brother's office. He is his manager and publicist so I think he is the best option" She mused.

We spent the rest of the day trying to find out a way to contact the guy or his brother. We googled his name only to find out there were hundreds of pages dedicated to him. I hardly ever watch television because all the sex and violence makes me uncomfortable so I am not aware of the famous or which movies are out . Thanks to my medication I spend a lot of my time sleeping but when I am awake, I enjoy painting, reading and listening to old rock songs.

I was surprised to find out the level of adoration some people had for the guy who was apparently crazy enough to risk his life to save my dog.

While some of the pages were merely a tribute to his extensive film history, the majority of them were dedicated to discuss every little detail of his existence. From the clothes he wears, to the food he eats and the people he hangs out with. His pictures were splattered all over with pledges of love and eternal devotion. There were serious discussions regarding his life and the reason behind his actions. His interviews where thoroughly analyzed and there were many YouTube videos of him saying stupid things. Apparently the guy did not have a filter between his brain and his mouth.

"This is so weird Alice, I feel like I have been living in another planet or something," I said self-consciously. "Apparently I am the only woman on earth who has no idea who this guy is."

Alice glared at me when she exclaimed, "Bella don't you ever pay attention to what I say? I had a crush on him for the longest time!" she pouted. "Don't you remember me telling you that I was planning on marrying him? He has the sexiest smile and the cutest butt" Alice was clearly sure those two qualities were the most important things needed in a suitable husband.

"Ohh is that him?" I tried to make it look like I had just remembered him, hoping to convince Alice I had paid attention to her. "He looks different now doesn't he?" I said innocently.

Apparently it worked. "Yes he is a bit older and his gorgeous hair is styled differently but he is still as sexy as hell. I liked him so much I used to kiss his pictures at night," her tone was longing.

"What made you change your mind?" I asked curious.

"He started dating Tania Denali. I hate her. She is such a high maintenance bitch. I was sure she used him to enhance her own career. It was hard to see him longing for such a nasty person so I broke up with him," she stated with such conviction on her face that it was comical.

In spite of my best effort, I ended up bursting into laughter. It had been so long since the last time I laughed that I was shocked by the bubbly feeling. Alice mouth fell open but after a minute of shock, she started laughing herself. Her utterly shocked face and eventual laugh only made me laugh harder. Carmen came into the room and found us rolling on our backs with laughter. She was shocked but ended up laughing too, which only led to another round of laughter from Alice and me.

My stomach hurt and my bladder began to tingle so I tried to sober up. I remembered my dog was lost an injured because of me and that immediately ended my silly outburst. I had no business laughing; in fact I should never be allowed to do it after what I did to my dog. Not That I had any reasons to do it anyway.

After a few moments of silence, Carmen got up and asked us if we wanted a snack. We asked for some sandwiches and went back to work while she fled to the kitchen. I knew she was just trying to hide her pain for my sudden sulkiness.

The fact that the man on the screen risked his life to potentially save my dog made me pay closer attention to his pictures. I wanted to know him. Not many people would risk their lives to save a dog, so I was intrigued by him.

His hair looked like a birds nest mixed with a haystack but somehow it suited him. The bronze color of it complimented his fair complexion making his emerald eyes pop. His thick, bushy eyebrows were unkempt and in most of his pictures he sported a scruffy beard on his strong angular jaw and his sculpted cheeks. He looked tall and somewhat lanky which surprised me a bit. I was under the impression that Hollywood actors were required to have at least a six pack but this guy clearly did not like to follow that rule or maybe having a bit of a somewhat flabby belly was the new fashion. Like I said, I am out of depth when it comes to these things.

Even without a six pack, he looked beautiful. His torso was long and it had a line of hair that Alice described as a "happy trail" for a very disgusting reason I wish she would have kept to herself. Something tugged on my belly as I zoomed in on his lips. They were thin but plump and they surrounded the most perfect teeth I have ever seen. I wondered how long a person must wear braces in order to achieve such straight teeth.

"He is handsome isn't he?" Alice voice pulled me out of my reverie.

"umm I guess. I am not sure what classifies as handsome but he looks ok to me," I said dismissively. For some reason the fact that she caught me staring at him made me self-conscious. I felt like a kid that was caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

Alice noticed my discomfort and said, "Its ok to like a boy Bella, there is nothing wrong with that."

"I don't know what you are talking about Alice. I am not interested in those things," I replied hoping she dropped it but of course I wasn't so lucky.

"Why not?" she asked petulantly. "It is only natural to feel attracted to other people and you are a woman Bella made out of bone and flesh and therefore perfectly able to like a guy."

The fact that she made it sound like I was _supposed_ to like men upset me.

"Considering that I cannot stand anyone touching me or even looking at me makes it a tad difficult for me to like someone in the sense you are implying." I snapped. "Besides, I am a freak who has visited the looney bin more times than I can count with my fingers so even if _could_ like someone, it would be impossible for someone to like _me_," I stated curtly.

Alice dropped her gaze and apologized for mentioning it but I knew she didn't agree with me and was just apologizing in order to calm me down. I tried to concentrate on our research but my mind kept thinking about those lips and emerald green irises from the pictures I had seen on the pictures. I shook my head several times hoping to remove those thoughts but I was unable to succeed.

Thinking about men only reminds me of Marcus and all the disgusting things he and his friends did to me. It reminds me of the smell of their sweat mixed with my blood and vomit so I am certain I will never be able to stand being close to a man in _that way_. The idea of it disgusted me so much my stomach heaved. Besides, I knew that what I said to Alice was true, I am disgusting. Not only because I am crazy but because Marcus and his friends ripped away everything good out of me. Every disgusting thrust implanted a seed of hate and vengeance in me and left me with a rotten soul full of shame. How could anybody ever _want _me?

"Bella look!" Alice squealed "Here is the address to his Brother's office! Maybe I could go there and find out a way to contact Edward." I had a hard time believing her plan would work but her enthusiasm was endearing and I refused to be the one to burst her bubble so I nodded complacently.

"Thank you Alice, not only for going there but for believing in me even when I don't deserve it. You have been my friend since kindergarten and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you. I have done nothing but bring you heartache and pain. I've tainted you with my misery and I am truly sorry for doing it but I honestly don't know what I would do without you."

"Bella what happened to you was horrible and it is completely understandable for you to struggle with the consequences of it. I love you as much as . I love you as much as I love Rose and to us, you are part of our family. I am sure if the situation was reverse Charlie and Rene would have loved and protected me the same way" She replied. Her eyes began to glisten with unshed tears as she continued "I just hate to see you suffer Bella. I miss my friend, the one who baked cookies and helped me paint my toenails. I miss the Bella that was always smiling and who had dreams of becoming a famous painter. Seeing you so scared all the time breaks my heart and makes me want to murder those assholes because they killed my friend and I miss her sooo much. I want her back" her shaky voice gave away the fact that she was trying to reign her tear.

My heart broke when I saw her trying to hide her pain in order to protect me from it. I knew she was right and the fact that I had no way of comforting her. I wanted to tell her that I would be ok, that I would go back to being the Bella she remembered but I knew that would never happen. The bullet may not have killed me but I was surely dead. There was nothing left of the person she described. I had no future and my past was gone. I had no dreams, hopes or expectations. My only goal was to be drugged enough to numb my feelings and hope that death would find me soon so I could join my family.

**A/N: I had originally planned for Bella and Edward's meeting to happen in chapter 4 but the chapter became too long, so I split it into two chapters in order to make it easier to read. I will post Chapter 5 in a couple of days in order not to disappoint those of you who are looking forward to their first meeting. Once again, you reviews are a shining beacon to my writing skills so pleeease! Don't forget to review and send me your comments **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I would like to apologize for not posting this on Friday as I planned. We had a Holiday in the US and I have been struggling with migraines so I was unable to get this ready by that time. I had to do some changes that I could not send to my beloved Beta so any mistakes you see are mine. I also want to thank you for your nice reviews and PMs. Your words truly inspire me. **

**Someone asked me if I had a playlist for this story, and to be honest I didn't know that was a common thing to do. I am kind of new to the FF world. However, I listen to the Twilight Radio station on Pandora as well as to Muse, U2 and for this chapter specifically Adele when I write. I will try to come up with a specific playlist for this story as it develops further but I can't promise for sure that I will have one.**

**SM owns the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

EPOV

"Edward are you crazy?" Jasper's voice was outraged. "Why do you care so much about that dog? It is not even yours!" His tone was reproving and it hit the wrong nerve in me.

"I know Jas but I can't just leave him there all alone while he is in pain. I want him with me and I don't care how much it costs. After all, it is _my_ money," I said a little petulantly.

I normally get along well with Jas because he is very easygoing. He hardly ever gets upset and his kind demeanor always puts people at ease. That's why I was surprised to see him acting with so much disdain towards the poor little fella lying on the hospital bed. I guessed it must be due to all the headaches the dog was causing him.

Since the stupid video of the incident was published, the media coverage has been crazy. There are more reporters and paparazzi following me and camping out of my home. Naturally, it didn't take them long to figure out where the dog was hospitalized. There is a circus of cameras and fans outside the hospital and it has become almost impossible for me to visit him, especially because I am using crutches, which limit my ability to walk quickly.

Therefore, I decided to have the dog transferred to my home where I will have a vet, nurse and all the equipment necessary to take care of him. That way I can visit him and check on his progress. I know Jasper thinks it's outrageous to spend so much money on a dog but I just can't let him stay in the hospital all alone. He has been fighting so hard for his life that I feel like I need to be there holding his little paw and making him feel that he has a reason to keep fighting. He truly is a champ and I am going to do everything I can to help him find his family, but in the meantime I'll be his surrogate owner. Besides, I've spent much more money on meaningless stuff, why not do it to save a precious life?

After a few minutes of arguing, I managed to convince Jasper to set up the mini hospital in one of the guest rooms and hire a private investigator in order to find Charles Swan. He rolled his eyes a couple of times but eventually agreed.

I find it odd that with all the media coverage Charles has not contact me to retrieve his dog. This enforces my theory that something bad must have happened to him that caused him to let go of the leash. The thought of him being hurt or dead makes my heart ache. I would hate for something to happen to me and leave Bear wandering the world with no one to help him.

Thankfully, neither the police nor the local hospitals have any record of a Charles Swan so I sincerely hope he was ok and just unaware of the fact that I had his dog, even when the picture of me carrying him was posted everywhere. Regardless of my feeble hope about his well-being, I am a practical man so I figured a P.I. would be able to trace him, or at least his relatives. He promised to give me the results of his investigation in the next few days but until then, I would make sure Spike was well cared for. Yes I named him. Sue me.

The next day I sat next to Spike's bed and petted him while telling him stories about Bear and I. I knew he could not hear me but I hoped he could _feel _me. I was determined to do anything I could to help him fight for his life, even if it was silly.

After a few minutes, my father entered the room quietly. He had been visiting me for the last couple of days in order to check on my knee but I had a feeling it had to do more with his worry for the circumstances that led me to injure it than the actual need for a medical follow up.

Before my mother's death, my dad was a very lively person. He was always smiling and telling jokes. He enjoyed the outdoors and it was common for them to go hiking and camping without us. They had the perfect marriage, always making gooey eyes at each other and kissing often, which my brothers and I thought was disgusting. After she passed away, my dad became somber and quiet. He does not have many friends and spends most of his time at the hospital. I think work is the only thing that gives him some sort of satisfaction. He is distant and brooding. It is almost as if he had died with her leaving only a lifeless shell of him behind to raise us.

Therefore, I felt a twinge of guilt when I saw the worry in his eye. He looked rattled and his speech was a bit breathless as he examined my leg. When I groaned in pain after he attempted to bend my knee, his eyes flew to mine and his grasp on my leg tightened.

"I think this must be more than a sprain Edward, perhaps you tore a ligament. Please visit me at the hospital so I can get more tests done"

He said as he assessed the wound and the purplish color of my skin.

After he finished his very thorough assessment, he informed me that I had to rest as much as possible and made me swear I would stop by the hospital the next day. He then sat down in the chair next to the bed and let out a big sigh.

"Dad what's wrong? " I asked, unable to hide my worry at his strange behavior.

"I am sorry Edward. Maybe I am just being a sentimental old man but I have been thinking a lot about you since I almost lost you two days ago," he admitted. "I cannot stop worrying about you. I feel like I have not been a good a father, like I have not paid attention to you. I don't know you Edward. I don't know what you like, what your hobbies or dreams are. I am a sorry excuse for a father," he hung his head in shame.

"What are you talking about Dad? You are a great father. You have provided us with everything we could possible need and while it's true that we don't talk often, I know you love me," I said emphatically. "You have a lot of things in your head and the hospital keeps you busy. I am always filming or doing press so it's difficult to make time to catch up, but you are always the first person I think about when I need advice. I love you Dad and you are my hero so don't be saying that you aren't good or ill kick your butt," I said as I punched him in the arm playfully.

His lips moved to portray a tiny smile and he wrapped me in a hug so tight that I was sure would crush my sternum. I heard his breath hitch and realized he was crying. I had not seen my dad cry since the day I found him crying in the garden after mom died, so it took me by surprise and worried me sick. For a moment, I wondered if he was depressed. After a few minutes, he let go and apologized again while wiping his tears.

"I just don't know what I would do If I lost you too. You and your brothers are all I have. I could not survive losing any of you," his voice was desperate and his eyes were imploring. "Please Edward don't ever put yourself at risk again," he begged.

"Dad I am fine, nothing happened please let it go. My leg will heal quickly and soon all of this will be forgotten," I tried to sound convincing. "Besides this gave us the perfect excuse to hang out a bit," I flashed him my most adorable smile, knowing he could never resist it.

It worked; his answering smile was bright and reached his eyes. "That does sound like a good thing"

With a sigh I looked down at the sleeping dog and I continued petting him.

"Have you found the owner yet?" my dad asked sensing my distress.

"Not yet Dad, and it worries me. I keep thinking that something awful must have happened to him in order to let go of the leash." I grimaced as the many scenarios played in my head. "I hired a P.I. but he has not given me any results yet, except that the house listed on the chip is unoccupied."

"I am sure you will find him, but if you can't I hope you keep him. He obviously means a lot to you," he said while he petted Spike. "I must confess that I think is odd for you to be so involved with an animal that is not yours. You care for him as if you've had him all your life." He looked at me inquisitively as if he was trying to read in my face the reason for my attachment.

"I don't know Dad, since I saw him walking around looking so scared and lost I felt like I had to help him. I know it sounds strange and to be honest I don't understand it either. All I know is that I feel the need to protect him. I feel like if I fail, it will destroy me," this time I hung my head in shame. I knew I sounded deranged and for a moment, I worried he was going to ask me to visit a psychiatrist.

Thankfully Jasper came into the room at that moment interrupting my dad's response. "I am sorry to disturb you guys but I need to tell you something Edward. I spoke with a lady on the phone that says she is the owner of the dog," he said, unable to hide his disdain when he said the word dog.

"Did she say the correct name on the chip?" I asked trying to hide my discomfort. I knew I should be glad to find the owner but I wasn't. I already loved Spike and knew it would be hard to let him go.

"Yes she did. She also gave the address on the chip," he replied.

I took a long breath and told Jasper to have her come to the house. "Make sure she has clearance with security," I said resignedly.

When he left the room my dad hold my shoulder and said, "I know this will be hard for you Edward but the dog deserves to be with his owner. I do want you to know that I admire your compassion and your ability to love so passionately. I am sure his owner will be very grateful."

I nodded and proceeded to pet the sleeping dog. "I just hope she agrees to let me keep him until he is well. He is going to need a lot of care and rehabilitation once he wakes up."

My dad grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "Edward that will only make you become more attached to him. You need to let him go. I am sure they will care for him appropriately"

I knew he was right but the idea of letting Spike go without knowing if he survived made me sad.

A few hours later Emmett was walking Bear in the garden while I hobbled behind them. The crutches were a pain in the ass but I wanted to be with Bear. It made me feel better to know I still had him. He is truly my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me. My dad fussed about my leg needing rest, but Ms. Cope distracted him with a slice of cake and a cup of coffee. I knew he enjoyed talking with her and I was grateful to her for distracting him. I needed fresh air.

I heard Emmett's radio beep but I was unable to hear what was said. However, I did notice him tense as he responded. He walked toward me and asked me if I was expecting a lady named Alice Brandon. I was confused and told him the name did not sound familiar. He spoke to the radio and asked James, the guard at the entrance to dismiss her. We heard him explain to whoever was at the door that he was not authorized to grant her entrance. He was about to respond when he heard some shuffling and James' gasp as a woman voice yelled, "I told you she doesn't like to be touched asshole. Keep your hands to yourself!".

Emmett took off running toward the gate along with Bear. Of course it was then that I remembered that Spike's owner was supposed to stop by and it was probably the one at the gate. I was close but still took me a few minutes to hobble my way there. As I got closer, I saw Emmett arguing with a blonde while three other women stared. One of them was very small and had short hair that was modernly styled. The oldest woman had long hair and olive skin. However the one that caught my attention was the girl that was standing behind them.

Her skin was pale, almost translucent and her brown hair was loosely tied. She was extremely thin and wore clothes that were too big for her. She had dark circles under her eyes and her lips were dry. She looked very tense and avoided lifting her gaze from the floor. Everything about her screamed "fragile" and judging by the protective demeanor of the women around her, she was.

When I finally made it to the gate I realized that the baggy girl was actually shaking. The older woman began to run her hand over her back in an attempt to soothe her. Seeing her so distressed made me curse the stupid crutches for making me walk so slowly. Emmett was still arguing with the blonde and I could tell they were about to rip each other's heads when I interrupted.

"Emmett please stop it. I know Ms. Brandon, she is Spike's owner," I said sternly trying to get Emmett to back off from the blonde and hopefully help baggy girl relax. I was surprised by my need to make her feel at ease. I looked at her and notice she was standing still but she had lifted her eyes to meet the blonde's for a second before she dropped her head again.

Emmett turned around and glared at me. "Jesus! Edward why didn't you say so? I asked you!?" He was definitely pissed off.

"I am sorry Emm, Jasper never mentioned her name and I forgot she was coming." I turned around to face the ladies and said "My apologies for the miscommunication. I am sorry you had to go through this but I hope you can understand why we have to screen our guests."

All of them looked at me warily except the one with the baggy clothes, she was still looking at the floor. Hoping to get her attention, I walked toward her and extended my hand as I introduced myself "My name is Edward Cullen; I am pleased to meet you"

However before I could reach her, all three women stepped in front of her and shielded her from me.

"She doesn't like to be touched, please step back," the blonde said with a protectiveness that would put a Doberman to shame.

I heard a soft whimper followed by labored breathing from behind the blonde and I knew it belonged to baggy girl. The older woman asked her if she wanted to go home. She didn't respond.

"Bella we are here, Dorito is inside waiting for you please _try_ to be strong," the stylish one said as she stood in front of her rubbing her arms. "He needs you"

Emmett shot me a glance that spelled _what the hell_ but I was as confused as he was.

"Alice, she is not well. You can get Dorito, I am taking Bella home," the older woman said leaving no room for discussion.

It didn't escape me that baggy girl's name was Bella and that it definitely suited her.

"No" a small voice replied amidst more labored breathing.

"Please honey this is too much for you, let's go home."

For some reason, the idea of her leaving while she was unwell was unacceptable to me so I decided to interrupt. "Would you like me to get you some water or, umm, something before you leave? " I cleared my throat hoping it would make my voice sound more reassured. "I would hate for you to go home feeling _sick,_" I said the word sick carefully hoping not to be offensive.

To my surprise, Bella raised her head and said decisively, "I want to see my dog," before she looked into my eyes and said, "please".

When I saw her gorgeous brown eyes, my heart jumped and my stomach did a summersault. "o.. o..of course" I stuttered as my legs began to shake, making me silently thank my father for making me use the crutches.

"Emmett please take them inside, I'll join you in just a minute," I said pointing to the crutches.

The stylish one, Alice, shot me a smile before she started trailing behind Emmett. Bella followed her as the blonde and older woman surrounded her. Bella lowered her gaze to the floor as she walked and I could see the older woman grab her hand in order to lead her. She was still shaking and her breathing became even more labored.

"I am sorry Mr. Cullen, I thought they were just some crazy fans trying to sneak in." James said apologetically, "I guess they are not fans but at least I was right about the crazy part," he chuckled.

"Please refrain from making fun of my guests Mr. Thompson, I would hate for you to lose your job because of it," I sneered as I hobbled away leaving a stunned James behind me. I did not like him making fun of someone so fragile and yet utterly beautiful.

By the time I reached the house, Emmett had taken our guests to the living room where my father and Jasper joined them. The introductions had been made and they were talking about my "heroic" act. Jasper was regaling them with the details about my brave-yet-stupid superman impression. Everyone laughed when he told them about my less than manly reaction to the anesthetic shot except Bella. She was slumped on the couch bouncing her leg and fidgeting nervously. I saw my dad eyeing her speculatively when she began to breathe shallowly. The older woman continued to rub Bella's shoulders and never let go of her hand, squeezing it a bit in an effort to calm her.

"Can we see Dorito now?" the blonde asked when the conversation lulled. She was obviously uneasy and continued to shot daggers at Emmett who seemed to be amused by her discomfort.

"Yes of course, I am sorry for the delay, walking is a bit difficult with these things," I responded as I neared the living room.

"I know! I had to use them for whole month after I fell off a tree while playing hide and seek with Bella," Alice said full of pity. "I bet your underarms are achy."

"They sure are," I winced as I noticed the throbbing pain under my arms and on my knee.

"Well if you don't do as I say and rest your leg, you butt is going to be hurting too," my dad said, making everyone laugh.

I was taken aback by his joke, that was unusual of him but then I noticed him shaking his head towards Bella and silently asking me what was wrong. I shrugged. I could see he was worried but did not want to be rude by pointing out her unusual behavior.

"Before I take you to Spike, I need to tell you what going on with his health," I said trying to give them a warning so they would not be surprised by his condition. "He suffered a severe injury on one of his hind legs, broke a few ribs and punctured a lung."

I noticed Bella got really still and squeezed the older lady's hand harder. My protective instinct made me wish I could lie to her and tell her spike was ok in order to help her feel better but I knew I couldn't. She deserved to know the truth.

"He had surgery and is currently in a medically induced coma in order to help his body heal. I brought him home because I felt he needed someone to love him and cheer him up as he fought for his life but I can send him back to the animal hospital if you prefer. I do assure you he has the best possible care here and is improving but he still has a long way to go. Once he wakes up he will need rehabilitation and constant veterinary care." I said reassuringly but the tone of my voice implied that staying with me was his best option.

I glanced at Bella and noticed she was still frozen in her seat. Her eyes were now closed and sweat was pooling on her forehead. The older lady was whispering soothing words and rubbing her arm hoping to help her calm down. I could tell she was nervous and she kept looking at Alice hoping to get her help. Seeing Bella like that truly worried me. I knew there was something really wrong with her but I could not fathom what could possibly be scaring her so much. I wanted to be the one soothing her, holding her close and making her feel safe. Such intense feelings surprised me because I did not even know her. For a moment, I pondered if I really did need to visit a therapist.

For a few moments we all focused on Bella. My dad was quietly analyzing her. He looked at her intently and I knew he was trying to assert whether this was common behavior or if she was suffering some sort of attack.

When Bella began hyperventilating, Alice cleared her throat and politely asked us if we could give them a minute alone.

"Is everything ok? I am a doctor and I would like to help," my dad said, his caring nurture winning over his politeness.

"She will be ok soon she just needs a minute to relax but thank you," Alice replied.

We walked, well I hobbled, to the kitchen in order to give them privacy.

"What the hell?" Emmett exclaimed as soon as were out of earshot. "That chick has issues" he continued.

His tone was amused so the same protective instinct that led me to threaten James took over and I snapped. "She is obviously struggling Emm why do you have to be such an asshole about it?"

Emmett looked at me doubtfully, obviously surprised at my rudeness. "Sorry Edward, you are right," he replied curtly.

Dad had noticed the tremor in my voice and how my hands were shaking

"Son, are you ok? You seem very …tense."

"I am ok Dad but look at her, she is obviously suffering and I don't know what to do to help. What's wrong with her dad?" My voice was imploring now. I needed to know how to help her and it had to be soon or I would lose my mind.

"I may be wrong but she seemed to be having some sort of a panic attack," he observed. "But by the way she refuses to make eye contact and recoils from physical touch I am guessing she could have some kind of autism. However, she seemed to be paying attention to the conversation and reacting to it which is not common in autistic people."

His confusion only added to my frustration.

"So basically you don't know anything," I responded more harshly than I intended.

They looked at each other before Jasper spoke. "Edward what the hell has gotten into you? You have been acting like a crazy person the last few days, first with the dog and now with her. Do you need to talk to someone? Are you on drugs?" he asked angrily.

I snorted. "No Jas I just happen to be a fucking human being that has feelings, you know? I cannot stand people suffering so please back the hell off!"

Jasper was about to respond when my dad snapped, "that's enough! Both of you get a hold of yourselves and let's finish this now. They must be waiting for us so please compose yourselves and be the gentlemen you mother taught you to be!" Dad glared at us and then walked towards the living room visibly upset.

I glared at Jasper but he refused to look at me. Fucker.

When we returned, all three women were sitting down and a bit more relaxed. Bella was now back to staring at the floor but she was breathing more easily. She was still shaking though. I took a deep breath and planted a smile on my face as I asked "would you like to see Spike now?"

"We would love to see **Dorito **thank you," the blonde replied icily. That chick really has issues with politeness.

Nothing prepared me for what happened after we entered the room where spike was sleeping. As soon as she saw him Bella ran to the bed and began to cry incessantly.

"Dorito! I am so sorry baby, please forgive me!" Bella wailed as she petted him softly. "I left you behind baby I am sorry. I failed you. I am a stupid person Dorito but please forgive me and come back to me!" she sobbed. "I promised daddy I would take care of you and look what I have done to you Dorito. Please be ok. I miss you. You are all I have left. It's just you and me buddy, don't leave me too. If you leave me I will die. I will die!" she yelled.

Her pain and words were heart wrenching. She was like an iceberg melting, all the emotion she had tried to contain earlier was flowing freely now. Watching her in so much pain made me feel helpless. I wanted to absorb all her sorrow and make her smile.

She looked like she was losing her mind as she continued her agonizing rant.

"I promise to let you eat all my Cheetos and not scold you when you get on the bed. You can sleep with me if you want but please don't leave me" she begged "I know I left you alone many times but I always came back Dorito. You are the only reason for me to be here"

The room grew quiet as everyone witnessed her desperation. Her friends were shedding silent tears as they witnessed Bella heartfelt apologies to her pet. They kept glancing at each other in order to figure out what to do. The fact that they did not know how to help her pissed me off. I wanted something, someone to stop her pain because her tears were ripping my heart in pieces.

Attempting to soothe her sorrow I said "Bella your dog will be ok. I promise you I will do anything, a-ny-thing to help him. He is doing so well. You should see how hard he has been fighting for you."

Six pairs of eyes glared at me but Bella continued crying incessantly. "I killed you Dorito, like I killed them. I am so sorry! Oh God I am so sorry. Please come back to me baby." Her words stunned me. I was confused and utterly disturbed by her words and the fact that she believed Dorito's accident had been her fault. The guilt was clearly consuming her.

I dropped my crutches on the floor and attempted to walk towards her only to be restrained by my father.

"She needs to vent Edward. Let her get it out," he whispered.

I looked at him imploring for his help. He should do something. It wasn't until he wiped my tears that I realize I was crying. He was confused by my emotional state and held my hand tightly in order to keep me from doing something that would complicate the situation further.

"If you die Dorito, I will die with you. I promise you I won't leave you alone," Bella calmed down a bit as she said those words, but her eyes were wild. She was truly losing her mind. The older lady attempted to walk to her but was restrained by the blond.

Why was no one helping her? Couldn't they see she was breaking? Her suicidal remarks shattered me. Her misery was like poison seeping through my skin, slowly burning everything inside me. I desperately needed to protect her, to keep her safe and calm. It was as if my own life depended on it.

"Bella, you don't know me and I am sure you have no reason to believe me but I swear to you, I will make sure he survives, ok? I love him too Bella, I won't let him die."

She stood still for a second as if trying to comprehend my words. I could see she was fighting hard with herself, trying to hold on to reality as she attempted to control her breathing. She was sweating and her skin was flushed.

Suddenly, she stood up and walked towards me. All the women gasped in shock when Bella's arms wrapped around me in a fierce embrace. I was momentarily stunned by the feelings she stirred within me when our bodies came into contact. The world outside her embrace ceased to exist. At that moment I realized that I had never lived before. I only drifted through life with no purpose or sense of being just like an animal, only surviving. However, as I held her in my arms I knew I was holding the only person that made me human. She was reason for my existence. Everything I am, was or will ever be is because of her. She was the part of me I was missing.

I tightened my hold on her as I tried to make sense of what was happening. Bella's body succumbed to her pain and sagged, dragging us to the floor. My knee protested but I couldn't give a damn about the pain. I cradled Bella in my arms, desperate to make her see me. When she finally looked at me she began to cry again and her beautiful eyes dissolved into a pool of pain. Her agonizing cries burned a whole in my soul. She held on to me as if her life depended on it and muttered "thank you" "I killed _them_" and "its my fault" repeatedly between her sobs.

Confused and shocked by her agony I ran my hand through her hair as I whispered "shh shh I got you Bella. I got you. I won't let him die ok? Please trust me. Everything will be ok"

She screamed and trashed in my arms and I felt so helpless that my own tears began to fall as I repeated over and over "shh shh he is ok baby, he will be fine ok? I won't let anything bad happen to him or you. Please believe me"

Her eyes became glazed and her body shook furiously. The emotion left her face and she became still. I knew she was gone. There was no trace of fight in her eyes just emptiness. I kissed her forehead as I rocked her like a baby, swaying my body in order to comfort her. Her cries turned into soft moans of pain. Suddenly, her body sagged and her cries stopped. Her eyes were now closed and I felt a rush of panic as I realized she was unconscious.

**A/N: Awww! Isn't Edward lovely? One of the reasons why I love twilight so much is because of his ability to love her above any reason or logic. He felt his love for her even before he could understand it. If only real life would be as sweet…sigh.**

**I was literally wiping tears there for a minute. I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and please don't forget to review and share!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for sticking around and following the story. I feel very humbled by your comments and truly appreciate the positive reviews and sweet words of support I have received on my inbox. I promise you I am trying to work really hard to be deserving of it. **

**Once again thank you to Hazeldene for being a wonderful Beta and getting this presentable for you guys. I also want to thank Dishie for all her valuable advice and support. She has gone above and beyond to help me learn what I need in order to do a good job for you guys. She is an amazing writer and I recommend you check out her stories. I was literally glued to my iPad for two days reading "In Plain Sight" I just could not put it down.**

**Hope you like the chapter and as always, if you have any comments and suggestions don't forget to let me know!**

EPOV

When I realized that Bella was unconscious, I lost it. I kept yelling at my dad, begging him to help her. I knew something was very wrong and the terror I felt when I saw her beautiful body lying lifeless in my arms almost drove me into a panic attack. My dad and the older lady quickly snatched her from my arms and began to fuss over her. He was in doctor mode, she was in state of hysteria calling her name over and over and trying to get her to wake up.

"She is in shock," my dad stated. "We need to take her to the hospital immediately."

"But she just got out!" Alice whined.

"I don't think I want to send her back to the hospital unless is absolutely necessary. She has been like this before so I know she may not need to," the older lady said.

"PTSD?" my dad asked.

The older lady dropped her gaze to the floor. Her expression was desolate and in a matter of minutes she looked really old and tired.

"My name is Doctor Carlisle Cullen. I am a surgeon but my wife was Elizabeth Masen, a renowned psychologist so I know a lot about this. I can help you if you let me, but I need to know what is wrong."

I was dumbfounded. I had no idea what they were talking about but I knew that whatever PTSD was, it had to do with Bella's mind. My dad's worried look told me it was something very bad.

"Oh my God you are bleeding!" Alice shrieked. It took me a second to realize she was talking about me. I tried to focus on what she meant but my mind was slow. My thoughts felt muddied, like they were under water trying to float to the surface where they could make sense.

I felt my dad touching my leg and a piercing pain finally brought me back to reality. It felt like my leg was about to explode.

"The stiches must have come off as you fell to the floor," my dad said.

"Jasper! Bring me my kit," he yelled. "Don't move your leg Edward," he said sternly.

"Why are you paying attention to me Dad? Bella is sick! Help her!" I snapped.

"Alice, call Esme. Rosalie, help me with Bella, we must take her home," the older lady said as Alice ran out of the room while looking for the number on with her cellphone.

"NO!" I yelled. "Don't take her away, she is not well. Let us take her to the hospital or bring a doctor or whatever it is that she needs but don't take her away like this please. It can't be good to move her. Please ma'am I beg you. Let me help her."

They all stood looking at me like I had grown a second head. The older lady was clearly taken aback by my heartfelt plea.

"You need medical attention, we don't want to be on your way," she answered.

My dad ripped my jeans and removed the brace from my leg. When he tried to adjust my leg the pain was so bad that I had to swallow a scream. "I am ok," I grunted. "My dad will see about me. It's truly nothing. We need to take care of her!" I replied trying to sound reassuring. I had to convince her to leave Bella with me.

"Esme said she will meet us at the house. She asked us to wait until she has a chance to assess her condition before driving her to the hospital. She thinks Bella was overwhelmed by the circumstances and her body shut down in order to give her mind a break. She should be there in 20 minutes," Alice explained as she walked into the room.

"Please ma'am let me help her, I continued begging, "let her doctor come here to check her and if she needs to go to a hospital, Emmett and Jasper can help. I assure you it is not trouble for us. I would feel much better knowing she is ok. " I shot a panicked glance at Bella who was still unconscious on the bed.

She looked at me thoughtfully before she said "Thank you. We will try to stay out of your way"

"Thank you," I rasped. "Emmett, please make sure she gets clearance at the door," I tried to keep the immense pain I was feeling out of my voice but by the worried look Emmett gave me I figured I failed miserably.

"Ok I will let James know. In fact I will wait at the gate for her," he said as he left the room.

Alice stepped out of the room again and a few minutes later Jasper came back with my dad's medical kit. Dad proceeded to cover my wound with gauze applying pressure on it hoping to stop the bleeding. In truth the wound was not hurting too bad, but moving my leg was pure agony. Like I said, I am a coward when it comes to pain but I knew I had to be strong if I wanted to keep Bella here.

"I guess we will get to see you cringe when they give you a shot," Rosalie mused, earning her a death glare from her mother.

"I think Jasper likes to exaggerate," I said swallowing hard when I saw my dad preparing the syringe which only made Rosalie laugh harder.

"We will step out to give you some privacy. Please let me know if my girl wakes up," the older lady said.

"That's not necessary, I will move Edward to his room so he can rest," my dad replied.

I gave my dad a panicked stare. "No I want to be here with her. Please Dad, let me be here," I begged.

"It truly is no problem for us to step out while you take care of him," the older lady said.

"Ok it will only take a few minutes," my dad said, embarrassed by my odd behavior.

"Would you like some coffee while you wait? Ms. Cope makes the best coffee in California." Jasper said attempting to lighten the mood.

The women nodded and followed him to the living room. As soon as we were alone my dad began to work on the bloody mess that was my leg. He was a quiet but I could tell he was upset.

"I know I am acting crazy Dad. I can't explain what's going on. The only thing I know is that I need to know Bella will be ok. She is in pain Dad, you saw it and I can't walk away from her. We have to help her," I explained hoping that he could somehow understand my anguish.

"Edward, that girl is very unstable. I don't think you should get involved in this. I know you are a kind soul and want to help everyone but I am not sure there is much you can do here," he replied.

The word unstable resonated in my ears as I tried to grasp what he meant. Part of me did know what he meant but my mind refused to accept it so it continued to look for a different meaning of the word but eventually gave up and realized that Bella was _mentally_ unstable.

"Are you saying she is crazy?" I asked hoping he could give me a different response.

"I don't like the word crazy Edward. I think she is suffering of post-traumatic stress disorder and it seems to be very severe. I am very concerned by her suicidal statements. I think if the dog dies, she will carry on with her threats. I hope she is getting appropriate treatment because she does not look well. She was struggling the whole time she was waiting in the living room. She was unable to breathe and her skin was pale. It broke my heart to see her trying so hard," he reflected as he sutured the bloody gash on my knee.

I blanched at his response. I remembered Bella's conviction as she said those words but at the time I thought she was just upset about her dog. The fact that my dad was convinced she meant them made me shudder in fear.

"You think something bad happened to her? Is that why she fainted?" I asked trying to understand what could make her be so sick.

"Yes, I don't think she is connected to reality. Seeing her dog hurt made her relive her trauma. She mentioned killing someone and she was blaming herself for the dog's wounds. Perhaps she associated the two incidents that way." He stopped his work for a second and looked me in the eyes as he continued. "As you can see Edward, she is very sick. I can tell you liked her but I am afraid she is not capable of responding to you in the way you would like. Please don't get involved in this because you will get hurt son."

The rational part of me told me that he was right. Bella was clearly sick and most likely would not be able to respond to me the way I responded to her. As far as I could tell, she did not even tolerated being touched, but she had touched _me. _The irrational part of me was sure that _had_ to mean something. However, neither part of me was important because I could feel in my heart that she was mine. I knew without a doubt that she was important to me and that I could never, ever walk away from her even if she never cared for me.

"I know you are right Dad but I don't care. I cannot explain to you what happened but all I know is that the minute I held her in my arms, I felt like I had found a part of me that I was missing. I want to love her and protect her, even if she is not able to reciprocate my feelings. I know you will tell me that this is crazy, that I don't know her and that I need therapy, but I know in my heart tells me to look after her and I will listen to it."

As soon as I said the words I was assaulted by the memory of the last time I saw Mom.

"_You can do anything you want sweetheart, even if people do not accept your choices, make fun of them or even stand against you, please follow your heart. I will be there guiding you,"_ her voice floated in my memory and I smiled. This is what she had meant.

My dad watched me carefully. He was deep in thought for a few minutes before he whispered, "she is your singer."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Edward, I knew your mother was going to be my wife the first time I laid my eyes on her. I had been studying for a few hours when I decided to walk around campus hoping to clear my mind. I was tired and my head ached but I figured fresh air would help. It was late and chilly so I grabbed my coat and walked toward the coffee place that stayed open all night. I was passing by the library when I heard quiet sobs. I turned around trying to find out where the noise was coming from when I saw her sitting on a bench. Worried that she could be hurt I approached her to offer my assistance," he smiled at the memory. "When I asked her if she was ok, she jumped at the sound of my voice and looked at me with big puffy eyes. I felt my heart melt as I saw her tiny face covered in tears. I knew at that moment that I would do anything to make her smile."

As my father talked, I pictured the scene in my head. My heart clenched when he mentioned his desire to make my mother smile because that reminded me of my own feelings for Bella. I looked at her, lying on the bed with big puffy eyes that were closed in quiet slumber and I understood my dad's impulse. I knew I would do anything to help Bella smile.

"Elizabeth apologized for worrying me and assured me that she was fine. I could tell she wanted to be alone but I just could not make myself leave. I told her that talking to someone about my problems usually helped me understand them better, hoping that she would confide in me. She looked at me for a few minutes trying to assess whether I was dangerous or crazy but eventually relaxed and smiled at me while taking my breath away. She told me she was upset because her roommate and best friend had moved across the country to another university and that she missed her terribly. She was also struggling with one of her math courses and was overwhelmed by the stress. We talked for five hours straight and by the time I walked her to her dorm, she was laughing and making jokes. Knowing that I had made her smile like that made me feel like the most powerful man on earth. I wanted to marry her that night but I had to wait six torturous months before she finally accepted me as her husband. The day we married was the happiest day of my life."

My dad was smiling brightly at the memory of my mom. I was mesmerized by the devotion in his voice anytime he mentioned her name and for a moment, I saw a glimpse of the man my dad used to be before her death.

"We went to Italy for our honeymoon. One day we went to the market where we encountered an old lady who sold cheap jewelry. We noticed she stared at us and smiled whenever we touched. She eventually approached us and handed us a couple of necklaces. Thinking she was trying to sell them to me, I reached for my wallet but she refused to accept my money. She just smiled at me and pointed to your mother as she told me _La tua cantante!_ over and over again. Confused, I asked her what she meant by that.

A young lady that witnessed the exchange told me that Italians believe in the existence of soul mates and that they called them "singers" because their soul sings to you. They symbolize such union by wearing matching necklaces. She said that once you find your singer, you are immediately drawn to her and will never be able to separate from her. I knew what she meant right away because both of us were forever changed by our union. No matter how much we fought or how difficult things got, we were never able to be apart from each other. Her happiness was my happiness and her sorrow was my sorrow as well. Sometimes it felt like we were one soul living in two bodies. Perhaps that's the reason why her death felt like my own death," he said while tears gathered in his eyes.

Witnessing my father's sorrow gutted me. He had never talked about my mom or her death and at that moment I understood why. It broke him.

He continued to work on my leg and helped me get up and hobble to a couch near the bed. He asked me to keep my leg still and walked out of the room.

It dawned on me that I was alone in the room with Bella and Spike. Well Dorito, as she called him. I wondered why she would name him after a cheesy tortilla chip and smiled when I pictured her smiling as she picked the name. I looked at her trying to memorize her features. Her skin was pale, almost translucent and it looked very soft. Her eyes were hollow and had dark circles around them and her beautiful brown hair was matted and disarrayed. She was extremely thin, almost malnourished. I wondered if she had some sort of eating disorder. She had small hands with bony fingers. I noticed she was wearing an egg shaped ring on her thumb and a small bracelet on her tiny wrist. She looked so feeble and delicate that the idea of her killing anyone seemed ridiculous.

I wondered what could have happened to her that made her mind snap that way. It suddenly dawned on me that there was a possibility that someone had harmed _her _and that possibility made want to roar with rage. I would tear apart anyone who had dared to harm her in any way. I felt the need to hold her in my arms but I knew I could not move my leg enough to make it to the bed. I also did not want to be frighten her if she woke up in my arms.

I heard voices in the hall and knew people were coming in soon so I spoke to Bella hoping she could hear me somehow. "I meant what I said earlier Bella, I got you and I will keep you safe forever. Please believe me."

The door opened and Emmett walked in with my father, all three women and another woman who looked like the living version of snow white walked into the room.

"My name is Esme Pruett and I am Bella's therapist," she said as she extended her hand to me.

Attempting to be a gentleman I tried to get up to greet her but my knee protested as soon as I moved it making me groan.

"Please don't get up," she said.

"Pardon me ma'am but my knees is banged up. My name is Edward Cullen and it's a pleasure to meet you."

"I know who you are Mr. Cullen I am closeted fan of yours," she winked as she shook my hand. "You remind me so much of an old friend of mine so I cannot help but like you."

We all laughed at her comment but where interrupted by a soft moan. Bella stirred and slowly opened her eyes. Esme approached her and held her hand as Bella looked around confused.

"Hello Isabella do you know where you are?" she asked.

Bella furrowed her eyebrows in confusion but after a second she looked at Esme and said she was there for Dorito. She then turned around and fixed her gaze on the sleeping dog. In the next second she began to cry and curled up on the bed as she remembered her dog's injuries.

"I killed him Esme," she sobbed, "I lost him too."

"Isabella you need to stay in reality. Your dog is alive so you have not killed him. He is under medical treatment and there is a large possibility that he will survive if he continues to be cared for" she said sternly.

Bella did not respond to that but pulled up her hoodie, trying to hide in it.

"You had an episode Isabella and I am here to decide whether I need to hospitalize you again. Do you think that's necessary?" Esme asked.

"NO! NO!" Bella screamed as she sat on the bed. "You can't send me back he needs me!"

"So if he needs you that means he is not dead, correct?"

Bella furrowed her eyebrows again and after a few minutes she said, "No he is not dead."

Esme looked relieved with her response. "Do you know where you are Isabella?"

I was confused by the fact that she repeated her first question but I figured there was a purpose behind it. Bella was clearly struggling as she tried to remember how to answer.

"I am at Mr. Cullen's home. His guard tried to touch me and Rose grabbed him by the balls."

I saw Emmett chuckle as he looked at the blonde who had a smug expression on her face.

"There is no guard in here Isabella," Esme prodded.

Bella continued thinking for a moment but responded, "the angel came to get us. He tried to touch me too but Rose and Carmen stopped him. He is hurt because he helped Dorito."

Esme eyes widen in surprise as she realized Bella was thinking of me as an angel. I was confused at her statement but I figured she thought that way because I saved her dog.

"He brought us here and I saw Dorito," she continued as her breath became agitated. "He is very hurt and I can't take care of him. He is going to die because we can't pay for his hospital so that means I killed him too."

My heart broke when I realized that the lack of economic means was the cause of her fears. I could see how my telling them about the need for extensive medical care and rehabilitation made her feel like she could not afford his care and therefore he would die. I cursed myself for being so stupid and not telling them I would pay for that.

"Isabella remember when we talked about managing our fears? What are you supposed to do when you are scared or worried?" Esme responded in a softer tone.

"I need to ask for help," she said almost robotically.

"That's right honey. You also need to get a hold of your thoughts so your fears don't overcome your reason. Now Isabella, have you been taking your medications?"

Bella laid down on the bed and attempted to hide in her hoodie again.

"Isabella?" Esme prodded.

"No I haven't and I don't want them. I needed to find Dorito and now I need to stay with him and care for him. I can't do that if I am numb and asleep," Bella finally responded.

I noticed my dad shake his head and shift his posture uncomfortably. It made me realize that her not taking her medication was a problem. He was clearly worried about that.

"If you don't take your medication Isabella, I have no choice but send you back to the hospital where they will ensure you take it appropriately" Esme said reprovingly.

"NO! Please, please help me, Esme. I can't go back I'll try harder, but I need to be awake," Bella begged.

"I am sorry Bella, but you know the rules. Carmen cannot force you to take your medicines and unfortunately the state will not give approval for a nurse to oversee your treatment at home. The fact that you had an episode where you threatened your life leaves me no choice," Esme replied. I could tell that she was saddened by having to force Bella back to the hospital.

I was about to offer to pay for a nurse for her but my dad spoke first.

"Excuse me Dr. Pruett. I think I may be able to help if Bella allows me to be of service. I am a doctor and own a clinic in West Hollywood. I could arrange for a nurse to oversee Bella's care while she cares for her dog, at no cost of course."

Bella looked at Carmen and then at Esme with expectation for a moment but then her expression was pained and her gaze dropped to the bed as she said, "we will take him home and I'll stay with him until he dies. Then you can do whatever you want with me, I won't care. Please Esme, he is all I have left, I need to see him die too."

Esme flinched at her statement and I saw Carmen and Alice burst into tears. After a few minutes Carmen said, "Bella I will take out a second mortgage if I have to but I promise you we will do anything to save Dorito."

Bella thought for a moment and the responded, "I have already destroyed your family, Carmen I am not going to make you lose your home too."

"You don't have to pay anything," I blurted out. "I have his medical care already arranged. He can stay here until he heals and you can watch him every day. Dad will bring a nurse to help you take your medications so Dr. Pruett can be assured you are following your treatment while you care for your dog," I said cheerfully, hoping to make her see that she had a better option.

"You have not destroyed my family Bella, you are part of our family and, as family, we stick together. I cannot allow Mr. Cullen to do this for us as it would be inappropriate to abuse his kindness. Besides, I am sure you will not like to be away from home in a strange place with strange people. We will take care of both of you." Carmen said while looking at me in a way that made it clear she did not like my suggestion.

I could see Alice tense her posture and looked at her mom angrily. Rosalie was impassive but also looked at her mom with a hint of annoyance. What the hell? Why would Carmen act this way when her daughters clearly did not approve. I wondered if they had a problem with Bella or if they resented their mom's over protectiveness.

Bella was thoughtful for a few minutes but then she said "I am scared Esme, Angel is a man, do you think he will hurt me?

I froze when I heard her response. How can she think I would hurt her?

"I would never hurt you Bella. Ever. But if you are afraid of me, I promise you I will stay away, we all will. You would not have to see us or talk to us. You can stay in this room and the nurse and Ms. Cope can take care of you. Would that make you feel better?" I blurted out before Esme could respond. I knew it was rude but I desperately needed to make sure Bella understood I was not a danger to her

"I can stay here with you Bella, that way you will not be with strangers. I would only leave you to go to school but maybe Rose or Mom can visit you then," Alice said attempting to convince Bella. Her mom however, was definitely not happy about it though.

"Bells there is no need to do this. I can take care of you at home, you would not have to be in a strange place or risk being touched. I know how much new places frighten you. We can bring Dorito home and you can continue with your paintings and play your music in your room where you feel safe."

Esme shifted uncomfortably and looked at Carmen with disapproval and a hint of annoyance. Alice rolled her eyes and Rose walked out of the room, clearly upset.

"Carmen, Bella has no reason to fear Mr. Cullen. He risked his life to save Dorito and he is offering to help her with no ulterior motives. If he assures us that Bella will be well cared for I do not see the need to doubt his word. There is no reason to _fear_ him at all. I would visit her three times a week for our sessions and ensure that she is comfortable. If she isn't, she has the option to go back to the hospital or to your home," Esme's tone made it clear she was not happy with Carmen's attempt to instigate fear in Bella in order to make her stay with her.

At that moment, Irina, Dorito's nurse came into the room in order to check his vitals and apply his sedative. Bella's eyes widened as she noticed how thorough she was and how she petted him lovingly a couple of times before injecting him.

Irina was surprised to see so many people in the room but avoided making eye contact as she worked dutifully on Dorito. She then left the room quietly as we all looked at Bella expecting her response.

"I would like to stay here," she finally said, "if that's ok with Angel."

"His name is Mr. Cullen Isabella, he is not an angel honey, please try to stay in reality. You know angels only live in heaven," Esme chided her.

"I know but he feels like one. Men are bad, and he is good," she replied sheepishly.

"Is that why you let him touch you?" Esme inquired, confused by Bella's response.

"I don't know," Bella responded. "He felt safe, like my daddy used to feel."

Carmen gasped and burst into tears before walking out of the room. I was annoyed by her response until I realized that Bella thought of me as being safe. The fact that she trusted me made my heart soar with hope.

"But I know that may be wrong so I would prefer for him to be away too. Is that ok?"

And just like that, my hope got sapped to the ground.

Esme was trying very hard to not be upset as she thought of an appropriate answer but Alice beat her to it.

"Bella you know how Mom is very protective of you and has a difficult time trusting others to care for you. That does not mean that YOU need to distrust people as well. Edward is very kind and saved our dog. I am sure you can see how that makes him a good person don't you think?"

Bella looked at me for a second and dropped her gaze back to the bed. "I would rather not have anyone but you guys around me," she said hiding within her hoodie again. "I am really tired, Esme. I want to sleep."

"Bella I promise you that no one will bother you. I would only visit Spike when you are not in the room and will make sure only your family is allowed here, ok? I know you think you can't trust me but give me a chance to prove you that I just want to help you and that I am not going to hurt you."

Her beautiful brown eyes shifted to me and held my gaze as she asked "Why do you want to help me?"

It was the first time she really looked at me for more than a second and I swear I felt naked under her gaze. I knew she could see me, all of me. She was staring into my soul, hoping to find her answer. I shifted nervously, unable to form a coherent response due to the shock of her gaze on me. I knew I had to say something that would not make her feel like a charity case.

"Because I know the only way Spike will get better is by having you with him. He loves you and he needs you to help him fight. I would do anything to help spike be happy and safe because I love him even if that means staying away from him," I responded with a shaky voice.

Bella looked at me intently for a few more seconds and then lowered her gaze. She was pensive and for a moment I worried that she may have understood the double meaning of my words and was afraid of them.

Thankfully that was not the case.

"I would like to stay here, Esme. Would you let me?" Bella questioned while looking back at the bed.

"As long as there is a certified nurse that can oversee your treatment I have no problem with it. I will talk to Sam so he can adjust your medication or perhaps prescribe something that will not make you sleep so much so that you can take care of Dorito. Mr. Cullen is right, love is the best medicine sometimes," Esme replied with a timid smile. She looked at me intently and I wondered if she realized I was talking about Bella, rather than Dorito.

"You will also have to eat three meals a day and continue to work on your social skills. You will not have to visit the park but you must figure out a way to talk to other people at least four times a week and write your experiences on a journal. We will go over it during out session. Is that clear Bella?"

"Crystal," Bella responded sarcastically. "Can I sleep now?"

"Of course darling," Esme replied sweetly while motioning us to leave the room.

"I will go home and collect you some clothes, your painting stuff and Mr. Fluffy. I know you will miss him if I don't," Alice said smiling.

Bella smiled and this literally took my breath away. I looked at her like an idiot while her face brightened and her eyes shone while responding to Alice. "Yes I would," she responded.

I had no idea who or what was Mr. Fluffy, but I knew it was my favorite thing in the world because it made her smile. I wanted a million Mr. Fluffy's so I could make her smile like that a million times.

As everyone walked out of the room, I tried to get up using my crutches but as soon as tried to move my knee throbbed and the pain was excruciating. I groaned in both pain and frustration when I realized I could not lift myself out of the couch. Dad and Emmett were quickly at my side attempting to help me stand. I tried to lean my weight on them so they could drag me out but anytime I moved my leg the pain made me gasp. I began to worry about looking like the wimp I know I am, but before I realized what was happening, I felt a skinny set of arms around me and a sweet voice telling me "It's ok Edward, I got you. I got you."

**A/N: our little Bella is getting braver. I don't know about you guys but I think she is making some sort progress.**

**Each and every one of your comments and PMs is a seed of encouragement. Please don't forget to review! See you soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am sorry I am posting this a couple of days late. I have been going crazy with real life and it made it difficult for me to write. Next week is Christmas, so I will not be posting a chapter. But I will make it up to you after New Year's.**

**I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas filled with love and hope. I want to thank you for the gift you give me every time you take the time to read my story and review it. It is an honor to me and truly feel very blessed.**

**Please don't forget to review **

BPOV

After everyone left the room, I felt very tired and confused. I wanted nothing other than to fall asleep and wake up in the safety of Carmen's home with my dog snoring nearby. Yet, I was lucid enough to understand that this was impossible because Dorito was lying on a bed fighting for his life and I was next to him in a house full of strangers with only Alice and Mr. Fluffy to keep me company.

My body ached and my nerves were shattered but I needed to make sense of the events of the day. I needed to figure out what made me hug Edward Cullen twice and why I reacted so strangely to him. So I replayed the events of the day in slow motion, hoping to find out why I felt so strange when he was near me.

The day started out easy. We drove to West Hollywood and enjoyed looking at the pretty mansions. The air was crisp and it was a sunny day and I was excited to see Dorito again. I missed him terribly.

We arrived to the security gate and explained to the guard that we had an appointment with Mr. Cullen. He was very ironic and rude and made us feel like we were just a bunch of gtoupies looking for a picture with their idol. Alice attempted to explain the reason for our visit bur he cut her short and dismissed us. When Alice informed him we would not leave unless Mr. Cullen was contacted he cursed out loud and attempted to shove us out the way. Rose warned him not to touch me, and that seemed to amuse him.

He eventually contacted someone over his radio asking if we had clearance. He smiled triumphantly when he was told we didn't. He then purposely tried to grab me by the arm, even though Alice was closer to him in an effort to taunt Rose. I flinched as he approached me but Rose had him by the balls and shoved against the wall before he could touch me.

I was scared that Rose would get in trouble for attacking the guard but I tried to hold my panic by breathing slowly the way Esme taught me. A couple of minutes later a massive man approached us and when he noticed how Rose had his guard incapacitated he became visibly upset.

"What the hell is going is here?" he barked.

"Your fucking guard is unable to follow instructions that's what is going on!" Rose replied icily.

"That may be because he only takes instructions from _me._ " He snapped, "let go of him _now._" He demanded, raising his voice a few decibels.

Rose released the guard reluctantly but not before kneeing him in the nuts. The guard fell down and whimpered as he tried to soothe his pain.

With a satisfied smile on her face, Rose approached big guy and said "Well, then you need to teach your people how to treat a lady, that is _if_ you know how that is done," in an innocent yet threatening tone.

The big guy swallowed hard and took a step back from her but recovered quickly and stepped closer to her in a threatening manner.

"If you don't want me to Taser your ass, I suggest you tell me what the hell it is you want as soon as possible because I am losing my patience."

"How typical of you guys to use your weapons in order to scare defenseless women. What's the matter big guy? Can't you fight fair or are you afraid to get your ass kicked?" Rose taunted.

When he did not respond, she stepped up to face him and added, "Well I got news for you big boy neither your Taser nor you are getting anywhere near my ass before I have you down on the floor with a concussion so I suggest you think twice before you try."

I was scared at the threat of violence and my body began to shake as I tried to avoid screaming. I wanted to run back to the car and hide from the threatening man but I knew I shouldn't. I needed my dog first.

I felt Carmen's soothing touch but it failed to calm me. All of the sudden, a strange feeling overwhelmed me. My skin prickled and I felt very warm. It felt like sunshine after being in the snow too long. T

he warmth was rapidly engulfing me when I heard a musical voice approaching us.

"Emmett please stop it. I know Ms. Brandon, she is Spike's owner," the melodious voice said.

My stomach did a funny thing when I heard him speak and my body trembled. I actually forgot that Rose was fighting with the burly guy as I tried to understand why my body was acting so strangely.

"Jesus! Edward why didn't you say so? I asked you!?" The big guy replied angrily.

I concentrated harder and realized the voice was that of a man using crutches in order to reach us. I remembered that the guy from the news report had gotten injured while rescuing my dog so I assumed this was him but I was afraid to make eye contact.

My heart began to race as I remembered his green eyes, his plump lips and the way he courageously jumped in front of a running car. A million images were crossing my mind when I felt the warmth intensify as he approached me.

"My name is Edward Cullen, I am pleased to meet you." I was glad when Rose, Carmen and even Alice prevented him from reaching me. At that point I was sure that his touch would literally burn me to ash.

"She doesn't like to be touched, please step back," Rose said protectively. I was unable to keep a soft whimper from escaping. I began to feel breathless and my palms were sweating. I knew that meant I was about to have a panic attack and tried my best to reign whatever emotion the man was causing in order to keep it together.

Usually men terrify me. I knew I was afraid when the guard and the big guy got involved but this was different. I was not afraid of Edward Cullen, in fact his voice had somehow distracted me from my previous fear but he definitely caused _something_ in me.

Carmen asked me if I wanted to go home but before I could make sense of her words Alice said, "Bella we are here, Dorito is inside waiting for you please _try_ to be strong."

The mention of Dorito helped me focus on the task at hand. I was there to pick up my dog and take him home.

"Alice, she is not well. You can get Dorito, I am taking Bella home," Carmen stated using her don't-dare-to argue-tone.

I knew she meant well but there was no way I was leaving without my dog so I gathered all my strength and answered "No."

"Please honey this is too much for you, let's go home." Carmen said sweetly.

"Would you like me to get you some water or, umm, something before you leave?" Edward Cullen asked in a soft voice. He then cleared his throat and clarified, "I would hate for you to go home feeling sick."

I grimaced as I heard the hesitation in his voice as he said the word sick. He had obviously noticed how much of a freak I was and was trying to be sensitive about it. I hated it when people acted weird around me, but somehow it annoyed me more coming from him, so summoning all the strength I had in me, I replied, "I want to see my dog," imperatively. When he didn't reply, I pushed myself to look at him and added a much more calm "please."

I quickly realized that seeing him was a mistake because his emerald green eyes knocked the air out of me. They were not only beautiful but they were soft and full of wonder as they looked into mine.

"o.. o..of course" he stuttered and I noticed his hands gripped the crutches tightly, as if he was afraid to lose his balance. I worried that seeing my absolute display of craziness was scaring him. The last thing I wanted was for him to fear _me_.

"Emmett please take them inside, I'll join you in just a minute," he added a little bit more calmly as he pointed to the crutches in an effort to explain why he was going to be delayed.

For a reason I can't quite explain, I did not want to leave him behind. I wanted to stay back and help him but I quickly remembered that he was indeed a man and therefore not trustworthy. He could be dangerous like Marcus and I was exposing my adoptive family to danger. When I realized we were going into their home, I was unable to keep my panic in check.

Images of Marcus and his friends flooded my mind. How they smiled as they grabbed my mom and me as we entered the house. I remembered the cold steel of his gun being pressed to my head and how he slapped my mom when she tried to scream. I also remembered the fear in my stomach as I realized my dad was going to walk in the house carrying a bag of puppy food completely unaware of the danger we were in.

The images kept me from paying attention to my surroundings but I heard people laughing I looked up and saw a much older man standing near Carmen. We were now seated in a spacious living room that had bright walls and several art pieces around.

I was unable to enjoy the beautiful paintings because there were now three strangers and another one fast approaching near us. Alice, Carmen and even Rose, who is naturally defensive and a trained fighter, were smiling at whatever joke was being told. Needless to say, I was scared shitless knowing how easy it would be for them to hurt us.

My fear must have been apparent because Carmen kept squeezing my hand in order to reassure me but I could not relax. Thankfully Rose spoke up and asked if we could see Dorito.

"Yes of course, I am sorry for the delay, walking is a bit difficult with these things," Edward Cullen said as he hobbled toward us.

Once again I felt the warmth and tingling all over my skin as he approached me. The sound of his voice made my stomach jump and my pulse quicken. These physical reactions began a quarrel between my body and my mind. It was hard to decide whether I feared him or not. Whatever it was that he caused in me was different that anything I ever felt. His draw was so strong, O actually wanted to look at him, but of course I refrained.

"I know! I had to use them for a whole month after I fell off a tree while playing hide and seek with Bella," I heard Alice say before adding, "I bet your armpits are achy."

"They sure are," Edward replied and his expression made it clear he was indeed in pain. My heart clenched at the sight of his pain and I was overwhelmed by the desire to soothe him, entirely forgetting the fact that he could be dangerous.

"Well if you don't do as I say and rest your leg, you butt is going to be hurting too," the older man said jokingly but the humor did not touch his eyes. I could tell he was looking at me funny and that reminded me that I was in an unfamiliar place and needed to find a way out immediately.

"Before I take you to Spike, I need to tell you what going on with his health," Edward Cullen stated somberly. Somehow I knew he was about to say something that was really bad.

"He suffered a severe injury on one of his hind legs, broke a few ribs and punctured a lung."

My stomach dropped when I heard his words. My dog was terribly injured because of me. I had left him alone and now he was hurt. The pain of knowing how badly my dog was hurt made me forget momentarily about the danger. In fact, the realization that he could die made me welcome the danger. Perhaps this time I would be lucky and be killed along with the ones I loved.

I began to picture the men beating me and Edward laughing as they did. My body was frozen with terror but I desperately tried to redirect my mind the way Esme had taught me. I forced myself to listen to Edward's words in order to hold on to reality.

"He had surgery and is currently in a medically induced coma in order to help his body heal. I brought him home because I felt he needed someone to love him and cheer him up as he fought for his life but I can send him back to the animal hospital if you prefer. I do assure you he has the best possible care here and is improving but he still has a long way to go. Once he wakes up he will need rehabilitation and constant veterinary care."

As I listened to him, the terror I felt transformed into awe. This man had not only saved my dog from being killed, but had done everything in his power to love and support him while he fought for his life. I realized at that moment that Edward Cullen would never harm me or my family because he was a good person. He was an angel sent from heaven to protect the last member of my family from the claws of death, therefore saving the few shattered pieces that remained of me from drowning in hell.

However, the fact that Dorito was injured so severely meant he could die, and since I could not afford his medical care that was surely going to happen. My lungs ceased to function as I realized this and I began to hyperventilate. I heard movement around me but was unable to focus on what was happening until I felt Alice's arms around me.

"Bella focus on my voice," she said in a soothing tone that allowed me to do as she said. "Breathe in and out slowly and try to stay with me ok?"

I practiced my breathing a few minutes and soon I was able to focus on my surroundings. I saw her looking intently at me as she said "I know this is hard Bells, but I need you to be strong. Dorito needs to see you so that he knows he has a reason to fight. Do you want him to survive?"

I nodded as I wiped my tears and continued with my breathing. Carmen was upset and kept asking me to go home with her. When I finally managed to talk I told her there was no way I was leaving without my dog. She flinched at my petulant tone but agreed to let me stay.

Rose was quiet but I knew she was also upset at her mom's overprotectiveness. They were constantly fighting because Rose believed I should be pushed to overcome my fears rather than shield me from them while Carmen preferred to keep me from suffering any more pain than I already had.

It felt bad to be the reason for their constant arguments. I knew they both acted out of love but I could not pick a side. Part of me told me I should be brave like Rose and confront my fears, but another part of me was perfectly aware that I would never be able to do it. I preferred to take my medication and numb my feelings. I also liked to pour whatever feeling I could not numb into my paintings hoping to somehow get them outside of my body and keep them from poisoning me.

While Alice supported my painting she absolutely abhorred my medication and was very vocal about it. She constantly argued with me regarding the amount of medication I should take, stating that it only made me become either a sinister version of sleeping beauty or a walking zombie. She wanted me to stop taking them in order for me to learn to manage the feelings rather than hide from them but of course my psychiatrist and Carmen were very opposed to that.

The only compromise reached between all parties was the addition of cognitive therapy and that is how Esme came into the picture. Even when I hated our sessions sometimes, I loved Esme because she always made me feel normal. She never judged me or acted as if I should be treated differently. Her goal was to help me learn to process my traumas and manage the feelings associated with them so that I could eventually become a "functional" person and live a normal life. This made her Alice's favorite person but it also caused a lot of friction with Carmen. In short, I was the rag doll that everyone pulled at.

"The gentlemen will be returning soon Bella. Please try to hold it together ok? We will ask to be taken to Dorito immediately so that we can leave soon. Do you think you can handle it?" Alice asked.

I nodded and waited for the men to come back. As soon as I felt Edward's warmth approaching I began to shake. It was as if my body was preparing itself for the deluge of feelings he caused in me.

As soon as they retuned Edward asked us if we wanted to see "Spike" as he called Dorito and even though Rose was clearly annoyed at the new name, we eagerly accepted.

We walked into a beautifully decorated room that had a bunch of medical equipment and utensils near the bed where Dorito was sleeping. As I approached him his extensive injuries became evident and my heart broke into a million pieces. I knew there was no way Dorito would survive and that made me realize I had killed another member of my family.

I don't remember much of what happened next except that the pain and guilt were like a fiery fire scorching my insides. A train of emotions hit me all at once and completely shattered the little self-control I had.

I could hear his shaky voice saying "Bella your dog will be ok. I promise you I will do anything, a-ny-thing to help him. He is doing so well. You should see how hard he has been fighting for you," but his words did not reach me. The painful fire was too much for me to handle.

"Bella, you don't know me and I am sure you have no reason to believe me but I swear to you, I will make sure he survives, ok? I love him too Bella, I won't let him die," he declared avidly hoping to convince me.

Suddenly the fire began to ebb and a blanket of safety surrounded me. I felt safe and the feeling reminded me of my dad's arms as he hugged me tightly. I always felt cherished and protected whenever he embraced me. I didn't realize how much I missed that until that moment.

"shh shh I got you Bella. I got you. I won't let him die ok? Please trust me. Everything will be ok," a musical voice reassured me. The voiced relaxed me and I felt serene, like a boat that arrives to shore after sailing through a raging storm.

"shh shh he is ok baby, he will be fine ok? I won't let anything bad happen to him or you. Please believe me," he repeated softly as I felt comforted by the rocking motion of his embrace. I felt his tears on me and when I tried to look I saw the blood.

I felt a cold shiver before a cold darkness reached me.

I woke up in a strange room surrounded by people and my sleeping dog.

"Hello Isabella do you know where you are?" I heard Esme ask but my mind was sluggish. I tried to focus but when I finally did I remembered I was there to pick up my dog.

"I am here for Dorito" I rasped as I looked at my beautiful dog lying on the bed beside me. Then I saw his battered body and remembered he was dead and that I had killed him.

"I killed him Esme" I confessed "I lost him too."

"Isabella you need to stay in reality. Your dog is still alive so you have not killed him. He is under medical treatment and there is a large possibility that he will survive if he continues to be cared for," Esme replied using that motherly tone she used whenever I was failing to comply with her demands.

I suddenly remember the warmth around me and missed it immensely. I was scared and wanted to feel its safety around me but I only had my hoodie now. It was nothing compared to the warmth but it always comforted me, so I buried my head in it.

"You had an episode Isabella, and I am here to decide whether I need to hospitalize you again. Do you think that's necessary?" Esme asked.

I was flooded by mental images of white coats, white rooms and chains that restrained me and I instinctively knew I could not go back there. Dorito needed me.

"NO! NO!" I yelled "You can't send me back Dorito needs me!"

"So if he needs you that means he is not dead correct?"

Her question made me realize that Dorito was indeed alive so I said "No he is not dead."

"Do you know where you are Isabella?" Esme asked again.

I looked around me and saw the men standing around with my family. I noticed a pair of crutches next to a chair and I remembered an angel with beautiful green that defended us from the big guy.

"I am at Mr. Cullen's home. His guard tried to touch me and Rose grabbed him by the balls" I stated.

"There is no guard in here Isabella" Esme reproached me.

I looked around again and noticed his bandaged leg resting on a chair and remembered he also saved my dog.

"The angel came to get us. He tried to touch me too but Rose and Carmen stopped him. He is hurt because he helped Dorito."

I knew he had cared for my dog.

"He brought us here and I saw Dorito." I informed her hoping she could see how nice this angel was. Then I remembered that my dog would need a lot of costly medical help and that I was unable to give it to him.

"He is very hurt and I can't take care of him. He is going to die because we can't pay for his hospital so that means I killed him too," added doing my best to hold my tears.

"Isabella, remember when we talked about managing our fears? What are you supposed to do when you are scared or worried?" Esme questioned me but her tone was friendlier. It was the tone she used to soothe me.

"I need to ask for help." I replied, thinking of the brochure I had read a million times where cartoon characters described what to do when you felt a panic attack was coming.

"That's right honey. You also need to get a hold of your thoughts so your fears don't overcome your reason. Now Isabella, have you been taking your medications?"

Shit! She was not going to be happy about the fact that I had not taken them in the last two weeks. Carmen had tried to force me to take them but I eventually won. I needed to find my dog.

"Isabella?" Esme prodded.

"No I haven't and I don't want them. I needed to find Dorito and now I need to stay with him and care for him. I can't do that if I am numb and asleep," I replied curtly. I hoped to make her see I was prepared to fight if she planned to force me.

"If you don't take your medication Isabella, I have no choice but send you back to the hospital where they will ensure you take it properly." Esme threatened.

"NO! Please please help me Esme. I can't go back I'll try harder, but I need to be awake." I begged, knowing that fighting will not help me in this case.

"I am sorry Bella but you know the rules. Carmen cannot force you to take your medicines and unfortunately the state will not give approval for a nurse to oversee your treatment at home. The fact that you had an episode where you threatened your life leaves me no choice."

I knew Esme was struggling to do this because like Alice, she did not like me to be drugged up and rotting in a cell but she was worried about my safety. I suddenly remembered thinking that if Dorito died I would off myself so I could be with my family, but I did not remember saying that out loud. I knew that only meant trouble if doctors heard about it.

"Excuse me Dr. Pruett. I think I may be able to help if Bella allows me to be of service. I am a doctor and own a clinic in West Hollywood. I could arrange for a nurse to oversee Bella's care while she cares for her dog at no cost of course," the older man offered while looking at me with soft eyes. He looked like a nice person and if he was offering such thing he could be. However, there were too many wolves dressed as sheep so I'd better not risk it.

My heart was saddened when I realized it was best to take Dorito home and spend his last moments with him and then look for a way to end my misery. I just had to figure out a way to convince Esme not to send me to the hospital.

"We will take him home and I'll stay with him until he dies. Then you can do whatever you want with me, I won't care. Please Esme, he is all I have left, I need to see him die too."

As I said the words the memory of my dead parents assaulted me and I knew it was my rightful punishment to see Dorito die as well.

I heard Carmen and Alice cry and I felt bad for hurting them but I had to stick to the plan.

"Bella I will take out a second mortgage if I have to but I promise you we will do anything to save Dorito," Carmen said between sobs. Seeing how much that woman was ready to sacrifice for me gutted me. I did not deserve her kindness and undying love. There was no way I was going to let her lose everything she had because of me, she had already sacrificed more than she ever had to.

"I have already destroyed your family Carmen I am not going to make you lose your home too," I said icily. I needed to make sure she knew there was no point in arguing with me about it.

"You don't have to pay anything. I have his medical care already arranged. He can stay here until he heals and you can watch him every day. Dad will bring a nurse to help you take your medications so that Dr. Pruett can be assured you are following your treatment while you care for your dog," my angel said softly.

"You have not destroyed my family Bella, you are part of our family and as family we stick together. I cannot allow for Mr. Cullen to do this for us as it would be inappropriate to abuse his kindness. Besides, I am sure you will not like to be away from home in a strange place with strange people. We will take care of both of you." Carmen said before I could reply to my angel.

Carmen did have a point. This was a strange place and these men could be dangerous. I began to wonder if Edward was just another wolf dressed as a sheep. Perhaps I had been easily convinced of his kindness because of his love for Dorito but that didn't necessarily mean he would be nice to humans too. He was a man after all.

"I am scared Esme. Angel is a man, do you think he will hurt me?" I asked hoping she could help me figure things out.

Before Esme could reply to me Edward interrupted.

"I would never hurt you Bella. Ever. But if you are afraid of me, I promise you I will stay away, we all will. You would not have to see us or talk to us. You can stay in this room and the nurse and Ms. Cope can take care of you. Would that make you feel better?" he almost implored. My heart clenched at the sadness in his voice and I knew I was being stupid. He could never hurt me.

"I can stay here with you Bella, that way you will not be with strangers. I would only leave you to go to school but maybe Rose or Mom can visit you then," Alice then added with a wishful tone. I knew she thought this was the best solution and she would do whatever it took to get me to choose it.

As I considered this option, Carmen spoke.

"Bells there is _no_ need to do this. I can take care of you at home, you would not have to be in a strange place or risk being touched. I know how much new places frighten you. We can bring Dorito home and you can continue with your paintings and play your music in your room away from any danger or unsafe circumstances."

Her words reminded me that there were many strangers in the house. What if someone got in my room at night? I would be defenseless and at their mercy. Images of Marcus panting on me as he buried his disgusting body inside me flooded my mind and almost crippled me with panic.

"Carmen, Bella has no reason to fear Mr. Cullen or his family. He risked his life to save Dorito and he is offering to help her with no ulterior motives. If he assures us that Bella will be well cared for I do not see the need to doubt his word. There is no reason to _fear_ at all. I would visit her three times a week for our sessions and ensure that she is comfortable. If she isn't, she can have the option to go back to the hospital or to your home."

Esme's tone made it clear she was upset at Carmen for reminding me of the possible dangers I would encounter. I was about to defend Carmen when a young woman entered the room and walked towards my dog.

She checked his vitals and some of the equipment without looking at us. I assumed she was trying to be discrete and not interrupt our conversation, but we were all just paying attention to her. I noticed she petted Dorito lovingly before applying his sedative.

At that moment I realized my dog was not only being treated, he was being loved. My Angel had brought him here to help him fight for his life not only through medicine, but through love. I guessed he was one of those people who believe that love can heal anything. I knew that was far from the truth but appreciated the effort.

I also realized that there was no better place for my dog to fight his battle against death. Angel had obviously provided him with the best possible care and I could not drag him out of here to who knows where just because I am afraid of these people. In fact, this place would be better because there were less people here than there would be in a busy pet hospital. I love my dog and I needed to do anything in order to save him, even if it meant putting me at risk. I knew in my heart I would happily die if it meant that last member of my family survived.

"I would like to stay here," I said with conviction. However, I realized I had probably offended my angel by being afraid of him so I asked if he was still ok with me staying. After all, he had probably realized how messed up in the head I am and deserved an opportunity to withdraw his offer.

"His name is Mr. Cullen, Isabella he is not an angel honey please try to stay in reality. You know angels only live in heaven," Esme said, using her motherly tone again.

"I know but he feels like one. Men are bad, and he is good," I replied nervously. I knew it was impossible to believe such a kind, caring person could be mean. I had been blinded by my fear when I doubted him earlier.

Esme raised her eyebrows. She seemed to be confused about my response but I could not see why. It was pretty simple. As always, she had to complicate things for me.

"Is that the reason you let him touch you?" she asked.

As I thought about the reason behind my unusual actions, I remembered that his warmth and calm demeanor reminded me of my dad.

I did not want to lie to Esme but I also did not want to talk about such feelings while everyone was staring at me so I came up with the best answer I could offer at the moment.

"I don't know. He felt safe, like my daddy used to feel."

My answer caused Carmen to burst into tears and leave the room. I guessed she was worried about me trusting this stranger so easily and even though I knew in my heart that Edward was a good person, I decided to be cautious and stay away from him. This would give Carmen and me some peace of mind.

"But I know that may be wrong so I would prefer for him to be away too. Is that ok?" I requested shyly. I truly did not want to be offensive but it was the best way to ensure I would be calm and keep Carmen from being worried sick while I was away from home.

"Bella you know how Mom is very protective of you and has a difficult time trusting others to care for you. That does not mean that _you_ need to distrust people as well. Edward is very kind and saved our dog. I am sure you can see how that makes him a good person don't you think?" Alice stated brusquely.

I could tell she was upset by her mom's abrupt departure and my lack of trust towards my angel. She obviously liked him and her tone made me feel like I was an ungrateful bitch, and I was but at that moment I had no idea how to handle things. My mind was blurry and I felt exhausted so I took the easy way out.

"I would rather not have anyone but you guys around me," I said while taking a quick peek at Angel's gorgeous face. He looked so wounded by my words that I immediately felt like a complete ass. I hated being the cause of Edward's hurt.

"I am really tired Esme. I want to sleep" I whined. I wanted everyone to back off and leave me alone. I needed them gone so I could take a pill and forget how awful I was.

Before Esme could respond, Edward cleared his throat and said, "Bella I promise you that no one will bother you. I would only visit Spike when you are not in the room and will make sure only your family is allowed here ok? I know you think you can't trust me but give me a chance to prove you that I just want to help you and that I am not going to hurt you."

He sounded desperate like it was important for him to keep me here. I could not fathom why a guy like him would care about an insignificant crazy person like me. His demeanor was confusing. Most people don't act like that. I vaguely remembered seeing tears in his eyes while he had me in his arms.

With chagrin, I realized he probably just pitied me.

"Why do you want to help me?" I asked while looking directly at his eyes. I wanted to see the pity in his eyes knowing that it would make my decision to leave a hell of a lot easier. I may be messed up but I do not want to be anyone's charity case, I had enough with my adoptive family.

He looked startled by my question and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. For a moment I lost myself in the depth of his emerald eyes. I had heard people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but it wasn't until that moment that I understood what that meant. On the surface his eyes were troubled and pained but as I looked deeper I realized that his soul was clean, a river of kindness and purity. I realized that he truly was a good person.

After a few moments Edward squared his shoulders and replied, "Because I know the only way Spike will get better is by having you with him. He loves you and he needs you to help him fight.

"I would do anything to help Spike be happy and safe because I love him even if that means staying away from him." he responded with a shaky voice.

His answer confused me. His words seemed to have a hidden meaning and his eyes averted mine as he replied. For a moment I thought he was referring to me instead of Dorito. I entertained the thought of him saying he would do anything to make _me_ feel happy and safe. Of course those thoughts were nothing but ludicrous.

The result of such ludicrous thoughts was a strange flutter in my belly. My entire body reacted in alarm. My instincts told me I had to stay away from him, but there was a part of me that didn't want to and that scared the shit out of me.

I guess the latter part won the fight because I ended up asking Esme to let me stay with _him_.

"As long as there is a certified nurse that can oversee your treatment I have no problem with it. I will talk to Sam so he can adjust your medication or perhaps prescribe something that will not make you sleep so much so that you can take care of Dorito. Mr. Cullen is right, Love is the best medicine sometimes."

The way Esme looked at Edward made me think he had gained another ally. I could swear her tone was too sweet when she mentioned his name.

"You will also have to eat three meals a day and continue to work on your social skills. You will not have to visit the park but you must figure out a way to talk to other people at least 4 times a week and write your experiences on a journal. We will go over it during out session. Is that clear Bella?" She was back to her motherly tone and frankly it was beginning to get on my nerves.

"Crystal. Can I sleep now?"

I knew I was being petulant and even rude but my head was hurting from all the confusing emotions and I truly did not care.

"Of course darling." Esme replied a little bit more kindly. She probably realized I was about to lose it.

"I will go home and bring you back some clothes, your painting stuff and Mr. Fluffy. I know you will miss him if I don't," Alice said with a smirk. That girl truly knows me inside and out.

"Yes I would," I beamed.

My stuffed bunny has been my security blanket since I was eight months old. My dad used to tease me about it but I could never part with him. Even during the horrible months after the incident, he has always slept with me.

As ridiculous as it is for a woman my age, I truly needed my fluffy friend and knowing he would soon be with me, brightened my day immensely.

As people began to walk out of the room, I curled on the bed. I wanted nothing more than to lose myself to sleep. However, a painful groan made me sit back up. I felt adrenaline trickle into my bloodstream as I realized it was Edward's.

His dad and Emmett rushed to his side in order to help him get up from the chair but the agonizing gasp he let out when he tried to move made me want to rip their arms off him and held him close so I could make whatever it was that was hurting him go away.

Without thinking about it, I jumped off the bed and ran to his side and wrapped him in my arms. I wanted to keep him safe.

"Its ok Edward I got you. I got you," I said frantically. Nothing mattered more at that moment than easing his pain. The moment he wrapped his arm around me, I knew I was home.

**A/N: So I guess it was love at first sight for our lovebirds. I guess I'll just let these two show us how that works because I have no idea if that type of intense emotion exists.**

**Some people may question the fact that Esme "treated" Bella in front of others, which could be seen as a violation of her privacy. In extreme situations where the patient is out of control and is a possible danger to himself or others, it is possible for doctors to do this in order to "contain" the situation. **

**Also please forgive me for the weird spacing. I am trying to figure out how this website changes the format from word as I don't want the text to be difficult to read.**

**If you are enjoying the story, please don't forget to leave me some love and reviews. I truly enjoy your PMs, comments and suggestions and I try my best to reply to all. See you next week!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: The holiday season is almost over and we are gearing up for a new year. I hope this New Year finds you all healthy, happy and filled with love. I must say that 2013 has been one of the most trying years of my entire life but it has also been very enlightening. One of the best things that happened has been gaining the courage to write this and that you guys read it. Your reviews and comments make me really happy and I thank all my lucky stars that you guys like it. **

**I also thank my lucky stars for the presence of Dishie in my life. She is truly an amazing mentor and a wonderful human being that is doing her best to help me make this better for you. Amandac3 did an amazing banner for Broken that I hope to display soon. She truly gave me an amazing Christmas present.**

**Cintia Figueriredo beta this chapter so I thank her for the wonderful job she did.**

**So now we are ready to get Alice and Edward talking for the first time. Let me know what you think about it!**

EPOV

It has been a week since Bella arrived and things have been quite interesting around here. First, I have turned into an adolescent pining for his impossible love. After all the sappy romance movies I have turned down during the course of my career, I still managed to end up acting like a bloody fool. Sadly, my love interest is not a beautiful cheerleader that dates the badass football player. Instead, I fell in love with a woman who fears me. I think I would have preferred fighting the football guy rather than whatever it is that makes Bella shake with terror whenever anyone approaches her.

Her attitude makes me anxious. Not because I wish she would be more normal, but because I am worried about the reasons behind her behavior. When she went into her panic attack, she mentioned killing someone. According to my dad, she could just be delusional at the moment, and I should not take it as a truth. I honestly don't think she could ever be capable of murder, she looks so tiny and innocent, but who knows?

Part of me wants to know what happened to her, but another one doesn't. My rationality tells me I should truly stay away from her and mind my own business. I mean, seriously, how can I feel so strongly for someone I just met? It's absolutely ridiculous to think you can love someone you have barely talked to so strongly, especially if that someone is terrified to be near you. The irony here is that I have thousands of women throwing themselves at me, and I end up wanting the one I cannot have. I really need therapy.,

However, the sole idea of walking away from Bella makes me feel like I have been punched in the nuts. She is on my mind all the time, and I do everything in my power to see her. Thankfully, Alice seems to be willing to help me. It seems like my charm has worked on her, and I plan to keep it that way.

I remember my first meeting with the pixie-like whirlwind that is Alice. It was a day I will never forget because that day changed my life. While I am not sure yet whether that change was good or bad, it definitely altered the void existence that my life had become.

The day Bella arrived was quite intense. I was utterly surprised when she hugged me after dad and Emmett helped me get up from the chair. Her tiny arms were so strong around me; it almost felt like she was protecting me. I felt like I was in heaven. Her warmth was all over me, her smell was intoxicating. Yet, my nirvana lasted about two minutes before she retreated back to her bed with her cheeks red with embarrassment. Like the idiot I am all I could say was "Thank you, Bella" before my dad and Emmett dragged me out of the room. She didn't respond.

As soon as we step out of the room the older lady, whose name I found out to be Carmen, literally jumped at me.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? Are you trying to take advantage of a sick girl?" she yelled, but, before I could even begin to react to her questions, she continued "Over my dead body! Do you hear me? She is my child and I am not going to let you hurt her!"

"That is not my intention, I assure you. All I want to do is help," I replied calmly.

"Help my ass! You want to get into her pants, don't you? I saw you when you hugged her! You took advantage of her illness and placed you filthy hands on my girl. She would have never let you do that if she had not been impaired," she shrieked as she got right on my face. Her eyes were like fire. I must confess that for a moment I thought she was going to slap me.

"Mom, stop this! Bella is not impaired, and Mr. Cullen is not going to hurt her!" Alice yelled as she pushed her mom away from me.

"Gosh listen to yourself! What are you doing? Bella found someone who is willing to help her. She had a very positive reaction to him and now you want to ruin that for her? You cannot keep her locked up in a tower, mother. She needs to learn to live her life!" Rose added. She was clearly annoyed.

My dad, Emmett and I were just rooted to the floor, mesmerized by the screaming match taking part in front of us.

"Bella is sick, Rose. She is overwhelmed by everything and is not thinking straight. I am not going to allow her to stay her, so that Mr. Big Hollywood star can hurt her further. She is my child as much as you and Alice are, and I will protect her with my life if I have to. Now shut the hell up and help Bella get to the car," Carmen said furiously.

Bella's therapist had been watching the screaming match silently but, after Carmen said she would not allow Bella to stay, she intervened.

"Are you going to send Bella back to the hospital, Carmen? Are you seriously going to separate her from her dog, the only emotional attachment she has left?"

"We will take the damn dog with us. I will figure out a way to pay for his care, so don't guilt trip me, Esme. This is my decision and, as her guardian, I call the shots, so stay the hell out of this," Carmen snapped.

A small figure walked towards the confrontation.

"Carmen, don't talk to Esme that way! " Bella yelled. Her tone was harsh, and I could see the anger in her eyes.

"I am not a child, Carmen, I decided to stay and WILL stay. Please don't belittle my decisions, or I will ask the courts to appoint Alice or Rose as my guardians. If you keep me away from Dorito, I swear I will," she spat.

Carmen flinched at her words but refused to back down.

"I am only trying to protect you, Bella. You just don't see what this man is trying to do honey. Do you want another Marcus?"

"Carmen!" Esme yelled.

Bella turned white as a ghost. She looked at me with such pain in her eyes that I had the urge to slap Carmen. I swear I never thought I could be a violent man; much less towards a woman, but seeing Bella's pain really gutted me. I had to work hard to keep my calm.

"I never thought I ever said this, mother,but I am ashamed of you," Alice said quietly.

Bella dropped her shoulders in defeat and walked back to the room. She looked so lost and defeated. I attempted to follow her in order to help her somehow, but my injured leg prevented me from moving.

"If you take Bella home tonight mother, I will move out of the house, and you will never see me again. How could you be so vicious? I love that girl like she is my sister, mom, she is my best friend and contrary to you, I want the best for her," Alice continued icily.

"I would move out too, mom. This has to stop. You have crossed the line many times, but what you just did is beyond despicable. You need help," Rose stated.

Carmen went from furious to defeated. She hung her head and walked out of the house without saying a word.

Esme went inside to check on Bella, and Rose muttered a quiet apology while she walked out following her mom. Emmett asked me if he could take me to my room so that he could ensure the ladies would have no problems leaving the property. I nodded, but when my dad and he were slowly helping me move towards my room, Alice interrupted.

"I am truly sorry. I have no words to convey the shame and embarrassment I feel for having you witness such a scene and for my mother's offensive behavior. Please accept my apologies," Alice said sheepishly.

At that moment Jasper, who had been standing in a corner the whole time, intervened.

"You have nothing to worry about, Miss. We understand that your family is undergoing a difficult situation, and we are very glad we can be of assistance," he said gallantly.

By the way Alice's eye brightened up, I guessed she liked his response.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," she answered coyly.

"My name is Jasper. Mr. Cullen is my Dad," he added playfully.

"It is nice to meet you, Jasper. I am Alice Brandon," she replied as she extended her hand to him. He grabbed the back of her hand and chivalrously placed a soft kiss in it.

Her giggly response confirmed that she was very receptive to his gentlemanly flirting.

Dad cleared his throat uncomfortably, reminding the lovebirds that we were still there. Jasper immediately withdrew, and Alice fidgeted nervously with the hem of her blouse.

"Edward, could I have a word with you?" she blurted

Emmett, who had been unexplainably anxious to drag me to my room, responded.

"If you want to talk, it will have to be in his room. My arm is about to fall off," he said dryly.

"Of course, I understand. It won't take long. I know you must be tired," she uttered.

Once I was very painfully laid on my bed,my dad and Emmett excused themselves as Jasper addressed Alice.

"I'd like to reiterate how glad we are to have you and your friend as our guests. It will be a delight to see your beauty every day," he was definitely flirting. "Edward, I will be right outside if you need me."

After Jasper left, Alice sat down on one of the plush chairs that adorned my room. She looked worried and a bit uncomfortable.

"It's ok to say what you want, you know? I don't bite," I said as I showed her all of my teeth, hoping my silliness would make her feel at ease.

It worked. Her face light up and she let out a hearty laugh.

"Ok Edward, I know you are smart enough to realize that Bella has issues. However, I want to make you understand what will be happening if she stays here and how it will affect your family. It is only fair you get the facts in order to make a decision of this kind," she said nervously.

"Alice, nothing you say will change my decision of letting Bella stay here. But I do need to know how to help her. I don't want her to be afraid in the least, so please tell me what I can do," I replied

"Edward, Bella is a wonderful girl, but her mind and spirit are broken. My theory is that her spirit was broken first, and that affected her mind. I believe that if she manages to heal her soul, her mind will surely follow. However, at the moment she does struggle and it's very difficult and emotionally draining to care for her," she remarked.

"Tell it to me straight, Alice, what happens to her?" I asked a bit exasperated by her vagueness.

"Well, as you witnessed already, she has constant panic attacks. She also has horrible nightmares that make her scream and trashes at night. Even when she wakes up she won't stop wailing, and she will hurt herself so we have to medicate her or take her to the hospital"

"You mean a mental hospital?" I bawled.

Alice dropped her gaze and pouted.

"I will not hold it against you if you do not want us to stay," she was trying hard to be polite, but I could tell she was upset "but I need to know now so I can prepare Bella"

"Alice, I am sorry. I didn't mean to sound judgmental, but I just cannot believe she has been to such a horrible place. Surely there must be other ways to deal with it," I appeased.

"The hospitals are sometimes necessary, Edward. I rather have her in a hospital than hurt. Bella likes to punish herself, and she finds ways to do it. The worst is through food, or lack of. She has been eating the same things for the last ten years. Chicken or fish with steamed vegetables. She eats poached eggs and black coffee for breakfast. She refuses to eat anything else, so we have to supplement her diet with vitamins. She can go days without food and that is very hard to see," Alice squeaked, trying to hide the lump on her throat but not succeeding.

"So she is anorexic?" I knew I sounded like an idiot but did not care.

"No. She doesn't have any body dysmorphic disorder or desire to be thin. In her case is a way to punish herself for something she believes to have caused. Those are the foods she hated before …" Her voice trailed and she avoided my gaze.

"Before?" I prodded.

"I am sorry, but I cannot betray her trust, Edward. All I can tell you is that she lost her family in a tragic way, and she has been unable to adjust to that reality since then," Alice replied warily.

"Why is she with you? You said she was your friend. Does she not have relatives?" I hated being nosy but I really wanted to know her situation.

"Both of her parents were only children, and her grandparents had already passed away when the situation happened. We used to live across the street, and her mom was my mom's best friend," she stated dryly.

"Our families were very close, so Bella and I were practically sisters since our birth. Renee and Charlie stipulated on their will that my parents were to become her guardians in case something happened to them. They also left her the house and a few savings. Charlie was a cop, so she was also given some money by the government," her tone was sad and longing. I could tell she was suffering quite a bit too.

"My mom used all the funds towards her treatment, and when they ran out we enrolled her in every possible program we could, but to be honest her treatment is far from good," she added thoughtfully.

I blanched at her response. My pretty princess was all alone in the world, broken, very ill and unable to get appropriate care. I made a mental note to research the best doctors and treatments available. I would make sure she was treated properly at least.

"Do you think she could ever trust me?" I asked, hoping she would say yes. I wanted nothing more than to find a way to be close to Bella.

She thought for a minute but eventually replied. "She is terrified by people, Edward. She refuses to be touched, even by us, and she has serious obsessive tendencies regarding her space but tonight she hugged _you _twice. I have never seen her react that way with anyone, much less a man."

Without knowing it, Alice managed to shatter any remaining doubt about my feelings for Bella. Hearing her say that Bella had treated me differently made my heart soar.

"I wish I could assure you that means something, but I can't. Bella does not like to make friends or do anything that reminds her she is alive. She spends her days painting, reading the same books over and over again, or listening to old rock bands when she is awake. Most of the time she is either asleep or drugged out, so she just _exists,_" Alice asserted.

I grimaced as I considered her words. Bella was basically a living corpse. My beautiful wide eyed princess was dead inside. I could barely contain my tears.

"Why do you care so much, Edward? You don't even know her, but I saw your tears when she hugged you on the floor. You looked sincerely affected by her distress. Please forgive me for being so forward but that is _weird,_" Alice questioned me.

Her puckered face as she said the word _weird _made me chuckle. Alice was truly direct and a bit odd, but she was endearing. I knew she was going to be a good friend.

"I wish I could give you an answer that did not make me sound crazy or creepy, but I can't. I cannot make sense of my feelings for her. All I know is that I need her to be happy. Her tears are like acid to my heart. I know I just met her and this is ludicrous, but it's the honest truth, " I replied trying my best not to sound creepy.

Alice studied me carefully. She looked into my eyes undoubtedly looking for a slicker of dishonesty but she found none.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence she said "I have a good feeling about this. I think you may be the answer I've been waiting for the last ten years"

Her eyes were moist and her voice was shaky as she said the words, but I also saw a flicker of hope in her eyes. I smiled at her hoping she could see my gratitude for her trust.

I really liked Alice. She is short and thin, but she has an elegant air and seems to have a positive outlook in life. However, at that moment her eyes grew dark and she dropped her shoulders.

"What's wrong?" I asked

She tried to dissimulate her sadness and gave me a shy smile.

"What do you mean?" she replied averting my gaze in order to discretely swallow her sob.

"I know Bella is not the only one in pain, Alice. It is ok to let your feelings out, you know? I know you don't know me, but I assure you that I will not judge you. In fact sometimes talking to a stranger is better. That's why there are so many bartenders in L.A," I joked.

She chuckled at my lameness but eventually she let out a heavy sigh.

"I just miss my friend so much. It has been so hard to see her slowly destroying her humanity. She used to be such a happy girl. She loved to sing and bake, and she ate like a cow. Thankfully she was in the drill team at school so all that dancing kept her fit," she confided.

"She was kind and very funny. All the boys wanted to date, and all the girls wanted to be her friends. She was always volunteering to help those in need, and her dream was to become a doctor so she could help the sick. She was the best friend I could ever hope for," she cried, her tears falling freely in her rosy cheeks.

"Then one day her life changed, and my friend Bella disappeared. Her pain wounded me deeply, and I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do to help her. For two years she was in a hospital barely talking and completely shut from the outside world. I would visit her every day, bring pictures and cards from our friends and even played music to her, but she would not even look at me. It tore me apart so I eventually stopped visiting"

She sobbed and cried out as she hung her head in shame. Her pain was raw, almost tangible. Her speech was fast and agitated as if she was trying to spit the poison out of her system. I could tell she felt regret because she abandoned her friend, so I opened my arms silently asking her to embrace me. When she did, I hugged her tightly in order to convey that she was safe. She needed to know it was ok to feel sad and that she had done nothing wrong.

She just wailed in my arms for a few minutes, mumbling words like "It's not fair!" and "I'm sorry" as I rubbed her back soothingly. I never had a sister, but at that moment I felt that if I did, I would have liked for her to be like Alice.

After she regained her composure, she took a few cleansing breaths and apologized for her outburst.

"Why are you apologizing, Alice? It is perfectly okay to let yourself express the grief of losing someone you love. I admire your strength and do not think any less of you for protecting yourself from further pain. You did what you had to do in order to survive. I am sure Bella doesn't hold it against you," I offered.

"Thank you, Edward. You are truly a good guy. I like you already," she said playfully.

"Does that mean you will help me become Bella's friend?" I asked with my most convincing impersonation of a sad puppy.

"I will try Edward but it won't be easy. Bella has been shut down from the world for so long that I am not sure she would be able to be someone's friend. My mom is constantly hovering over her and has done everything in her power to prevent Bella from suffering. Unfortunately, she does it by helping her avoid her reality and supporting Bella's decision to shut down from the world," she declared, her eyes dark with anger and frustration.

"I think that is wrong. Keeping her medicated and letting her stay in a room painting is not the solution. It is simply the easy way out. She needs to confront her reality and learn to accept it. She has to move on. I know it will be hard, but I also know how brave and strong she is, and I am positively sure that with a supportive environment she would succeed. She just needs to be loved and nurtured, so that she can remember how to enjoy life again," she mused.

"So how can we do that?" I asked confused but happy to know that loving her was part of the solution.

"We must teach her to trust again. We also need to help her remember the things she enjoyed. You my dear, Edward, will be responsible for that. I will be in charge of helping her confront her reality. We must do this slowly and very carefully. We will have to be patient and strong, because it will be difficult," she warned.

"Okay. I am in. Tell me what to do," I asked, unable to hide the excitement I felt at knowing she planned to help me.

"The most important thing is to keep Dorito sick," she smiled wickedly "even if he gets better, we must pretend he needs all kinds of medical treatments. That way Bella will have to stay here long enough for our plan to work. We must also keep my mom away from her, and make sure that Esme is on our side. She will be the one helping Bella navigate through her emotions," she noted.

It was obvious Alice had thought this through. She had probably been plotting her plan for a long time, waiting for the right person to come along and help her.

"You must approach her carefully, like you would approach a wounded squirrel. Don't push too hard or she will run away scared. Make her come to you by showing her she can trust you. I will help you as much as possible by assuring her that you are a good guy," she teased as she put her palms together and feigned an angelic face.

"You must also put her in a different room than Dorito. That way she will be forced to step out of her room and give you a chance to accidentally run into her," she used her fingers to place imaginary quotation marks at the word "accidentally". She was clearly a good planner.

"I will have Ms. Cope prepare the room next to mine. You can stay with her or if you prefer I can put you in another one of the guest rooms," I offered.

"I will have to stay with her. She will most likely be experiencing nightmares due to the stress of being in an unfamiliar place. However, if we get her to improve a little bit, I will find an excuse to let her sleep alone. She needs to become more independent," she stated.

"I will be next door and keep an eye on her when she is alone," I declared dutifully.

She lean into my arms again and hugged me fiercely.

"Thank you, Edward. I have a good feeling about this. I have been waiting a long time for you," she whispered. "But if you hurt her in any way, I will dismember you slowly and very painfully and then burn your pieces to ashes. I am a nurse, so not even your pretty teeth would survive," she said menacingly.

I gulped and stiffened at her threat. Something told me she was not quite joking.

"I would never hurt her, Alice," I assured her.

"Good. Then we have an understanding. Let Operation Squirrel begin," she said flippantly.

I could not help but laugh at her imitation of military argot.

"Edward, is it too weird for me to confess that I used to kiss your picture good night when I was younger?" she asked sheepishly.

I looked at her embarrassed face and could not help but laugh.

"I would have never pegged for the fangirling type of girl, Alice," I said between guffaws. "But I think I can forgive you for it. Only if you swear you no longer have sexual fantasies about my divine looks and charming personality because that will _definitely_ be weird"

She smacked my arm playfully as she vehemently denied ever having a sexual fantasy about me, causing me to let out another round of chortles. She then pretended to pout and attempted to squirm out of my brotherly embrace, but I held her tightly while using my hand to ruffle her hair playfully. She let out a gasp and then threatened body harm if I ever dared to mess up her hair again. I smirked at her and told her "whatever you say, Shorty" as I chuckled at her shocked expression.

After a few more minutes of planning the details of Operation Squirrel, we decided it was a good idea to involve the rest of my family. Luckily, Esme had not left the house yet, so we invited her to our impromptu meeting at my room.

Alice talked to her beforehand to see if she agreed with our plan and convince her to help us. When she agreed, they both walked into my room where my dad, brothers and I waited for them.

When Esme noticed the large painting of my mother that hangs in front of my bed she let out an audible gasp.

"Oh my God, is that Elizabeth Masen?" she asked.

All four of us looked at her confused by her reaction and the fact that she knew my mom. She approached the painting as if she was trying to convince herself it was there.

"Do you know my wife?" My dad inquired. He was clearly shocked by her reaction.

"I can't believe this! Where is she?" she asked excitedly but before anyone could respond she looked at my brothers and I with love and endearment and questioned us further "oh God, are you her kids?"

We were all dumbfounded. After a few seconds of awkward silence my dad replied somberly "Elizabeth passed away a few years ago but yes they are our kids"

He looked at us proudly as if he was admitting of owning a hidden treasure.

Her eyes watered and she let out a small sob.

"Please excuse me for a second," she said as she hurried out of the room.

We were all speechless and intrigued about Esme's possible relationship with my mom. My brothers and I looked at my dad questioningly, but he just shrugged his shoulders in response. After a few minutes, she returned to the meeting with red, puffy eyes and a sad look on her face.

"How do you know my mom? I blurted, unable to hide my curiosity. My father looked at me sternly letting me know I was being rude.

"She was my roommate in college. We were best friends," she rasped "I am truly sorry for your loss. You must miss her terribly. She was a great woman."

"You are Ess?" My dad asked shocked.

Esme let out a small chuckle and said "Elizabeth used to call me that way because according to her it sounded much cooler than Esme"

"That sounds like mom," Emmett chuckled.

She looked at me and told me I had her eyes. She admitted to being a fan of mine and always sensing I looked familiar to her for some reason.

"She must be really proud of you. You are an excellent actor," she remarked.

"Thank you," I said as I blushed at her words. I have always been embarrassed when someone complimented me.

"I can't believe this! After all the efforts we made to locate you, I finally get to meet you. Elizabeth would be thrilled to see you again. She never gave up hope of finding you one day," my dad exclaimed, his eyes shining with wonder.

Esme flinched at his words and wept. In a gesture that shocked the hell out of us, my dad approached her and held her in his arms, comforting her.

After a few minutes, Alice began to explain our master plan in order to defuse the situation. She assigned our roles, and when she realized my Dad and Esme were a bit skeptical, she enlisted Jasper's help and began to press her case. She demanded, begged and eventually implored for their support, arguing that though they would be close to cross the line of ethical treatment, she would never make them cross it. Jasper's help consisted in arguing the logic behind our actions and when that failed, he used his uncanny ability to know the weak link in people's armors to make them do what he wants.

"It is what mom would do if she was here right now, and you both know it," he said quietly, making both of them bow their heads and eventually agree, albeit conditionally.

Jasper will never cease to amaze me. I felt proud and very grateful for the little fucker's help, though I knew he would do anything to impress Alice. He was obviously smitten with her and judging by the way she subtly flirted with him, she was also hooked.

After everyone else left, Alice and Jasper stayed behind in order to plot my first encounter with Bella. Once we were done, he offered to drive Alice home, so she could pack a bag of essentials for Bella and herself, while Esme informed Bella of the need to move her to a different room. It didn't escape me that Alice was afraid to leave Bella alone, and I wondered why that could be, but then decided that it didn't matter because we were all going to work hard to change that.

When everyone left my room I felt relieved and excited about getting to know Bella. I imagined all kind of scenarios for our next meeting. However, the pain in my leg was excruciating, so I reluctantly took a couple of the potent painkillers my dad had prescribed me. Soon after that I fell into a peaceful sleep, filled with dreams of a smiley Bella baking me a delicious Apple pie. I was a happy man.

**A/N: Let the team work begin! I think we will have some results next week. Let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So it is time for some Edward and Bella interaction. I hope you guys enjoy their first meeting. As always, please let me know what you think by reviewing. I enjoy your comments tremendously.**

**I would like to thank Dishie for her support and for being the wonderful person she is. I am very honored to be learning from such a talented writer. I must say that her story 'Rearview Mirror' had me glued to my IPad biting my nails. I hope you guys check it out, it is totally worth it. She writes awesome lemons too!**

**I also thank TitaRitter for being an amazing Beta. Any mistakes you see are mine.**

**SM owns Twilight. I just like to play around with it**

EPOV

The next few days after Bella arrived, things began to change. Alice started doing her part in Operation Squirrel, adeptly aided by my helpful brother Jasper. He seems to be willing to follow all of her commands.

Alice's job is to talk Bella into trusting my family and I. Bella needs to feel at ease in the house, so that she doesn't become so stressed that she requires additional medication. Alice began her work by informing Bella that she had a crush on Jasper. According to Alice, Bella will be much more receptive to Jasper if she thinks of him as Alice's love interest and possible boyfriend. This doesn't mean she will talk to him or be close in anyway, but it will allow him to be in the same room with her while 'hanging out' with Alice. We hope this will allow him to ease her into becoming friendly with him. So far, my brother seems to be doing a good job because she has said "good morning" and "thanks" to him and even allowed him to see her artwork. I think that is due to the major guilt trips Alice imposes on Bella, but it is still a positive advance.

It is not difficult for Jasper to ease into people. Jazz is very outgoing when he needs to be, but he is also a quiet observer. He watches people rather than participate in conversations, unless he wants to get something out of them. I think he studies people in order to figure out what makes them react in certain ways and then uses the knowledge to convince them to do things his way. This ability has done wonders for my career and seems to be working with Bella, even if the results are not as quick as we would like.

Alice has also been talking to Bella about me. She informed Bella that we have become friends and that she thinks I am very cool. She tells Bella that she hangs out with us after she puts her to bed, which is actually true. In a matter of days, Alice has wormed her pixie self into more than one Cullen heart.

The environment in my home has shifted from being quiet and mournful to warm and happy since the girls arrived. While we have always loved each other, we kind of drifted apart after my mom died, until we stopped hanging out as a family. Alice and Esme's presence has changed that. Now we all eat dinner together and spend time afterwards watching movies in the small theater we have at the house or playing board games while eating all kinds of bad food. My dad and Esme have even joined us a couple of times but usually refrain from pigging out, mentioning their fear of a coronary blockage as an excuse. It's amazing how we have bonded in just a few days. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have a family, one that I hope Bella will join soon.

The fact that Esme was my mom's best friend still blows my mind. She is so much like my mom, it is almost eerie. She has the same calm demeanor and pleasant personality. She is very smart and has a silly sense of humor, although her eyes have a hint of sadness, especially after visiting with Bella.

The fact that Esme was her best friend has given my brothers and me an opportunity to get to know my mom. I have always wondered how she was outside of her mom persona, so we love to bombard Esme with questions about her and their college days. Her stories always leave me smiling because clearly I took after her personality except for the social skills. I have never been able to fit well with people, and my mom was a social butterfly. Still, seeing the similitudes among us makes me feel closer to her and reminds me of how strong our bond was.

My dad acted a little weird around Esme at first, being way too formal and quiet, but eventually warmed up to her. Esme visits Bella almost every day, not only as her therapist, but also as her case worker. She supervises her meals and medicine intake, forcing her to work closely with my Dad since he ended up being the one taking over Bella's medical care.

Instead of sending one of his nurses, he visits Bella four times a day to administer medication and monitors her health closely. He is concerned about Bella's lack of proper nutrition, so he recommended additional vitamins. He even convinced Bella to drink some sort of vegetable juice mixed with proteins, hoping that it will fortify her blood. I know he got involved in her care because he knows how much she means to me, and I cannot be more grateful. I feel better knowing her health is being carefully monitored.

Rose visits Bella whenever Alice goes to school, and although she is not as friendly as Alice, she seems to accept me. She has even agreed to be part of Operation Squirrel, being in charge of keeping Carmen away and reassuring Bella.

Carmen absolutely despises me. After finding out how she has kept Bella in a useless treatment and how she encourages her to retreat from the world, I can positively say that the feeling is mutual, and I truly don't want her around. I have a feeling that she would only upset Bella further.

Alice and Rose have ceased to communicate with her, making it clear that they were outraged by her abhorring behavior towards me. Alice moved in with us, and Rose decided to move in with a friend.

I felt bad about them leaving their home, especially with Rose because I knew she would be living far from her job and would be more costly for her. The day I found out she had moved out, I invited her to live with us.

"You are welcome to stay with us, Rose; there is no need for you to struggle when there are plenty of rooms here for you to stay. I even have a fully equipped gym here that you can use anytime you want," I offered, knowing that Rose was an exercise junkie.

"Thank you, Edward, but I would hate to run into your brother. I think it would be detrimental to his health," she said disdainfully.

"Oh, Rose, don't be such a bitch! The poor guy was only doing his job!" Alice chided.

"Well, there was no need for the attitude" she replied warily.

"You had one of his guards by the balls! He was probably afraid your were a psycho trying to get to Mr. Sexy Pants here," Alice said, pointing towards me. Rose looked me over and chuckled, making it clear she did not think of me as a potential Mr. Sexy Pants.

"Okay, girls, no need to make fun of me ok?" I said, feigning hurt at their lack of interest and causing them to guffaw loudly.

After they sobered up, Alice said "Rosie, we really need your help with Bella. She has been crying herself to sleep because she has not heard from Mom. She has not been eating well either, so we need to do something about Mom"

"I know, Alice, but it is better for us if Mom stays away. You know she doesn't want Bella here, and I am sure she would just guilt trip her into going home. She is already doing better, she seems more focused and is talking more than usual," Rose noted while looking at me meaningfully.

"I know, I have noticed that too" Alice said wistfully. I had a feeling that they were somehow talking about me, but I decided not to pry. I only hoped that whatever change was happening in Bella helped me get close to her.

My prayers were answered rather unexpectedly. On Monday, I went to the pet store to buy some stuff for Bear and saw a plush toy shaped as a bone. I figured Dorito would need toys once he awakes, so I bought it for him. After dinner Jasper and Alice went to her house to pick up a few things she needed for school, so I decided to visit Dorito in order to give him his new toy and give him his pep talk.

I was worried about running into Bella, but Alice made sure she was asleep before she left the house, so I was sure there was no chance for me to run into her. The last thing I wanted was to freak her out when Alice was out of the house.

After grabbing the plush toy from my room, I hobbled my way to his room accompanied by my dear sidekick Bear. When we arrived, the nurse was checking Dorito's vitals, so I asked her a few questions regarding his progress. After a few minutes, she exited the room and left us alone with Dorito. I sat on the bed next to him and petted him while Bear sniffed around him.

According to the vet, Dorito would be in a comma for at least another week since his bones were setting properly. I sat on the bed next to him and began to pet his head. I wanted to cheer him up and let him feel my touch. I worried that he may have felt like I abandoned him, since I had not seen him for a few days.

"How are you doing, buddy?" I said as I rubbed his belly carefully.

"I hope you are happy that your mom found you. She is pushing herself really hard in order to be with you, so I hope you make her proud by fighting hard to get well. She needs you, buddy. Please don't let her down ok?"

I was a bit emotional due to all the turmoil of the last few days. I worried about Bella and was anxious about carrying Alice's plan. I wondered if it would be good for her or if would end up making her worse. I didn't want to wallow in my doubts, so I continued giving Dorito his pep talk, hoping that it would help me clear my head.

"I know you are worried about your mom, but don't worry too much, ok? Just focus on getting better for her. It would make her really sad to lose you, and I know you don't want to see her sad," I whispered.

"You never told me you had such a pretty mom. I gotta say I think you are a very lucky dog. I can only imagine how good it must feel for her to love you so much" I said meaningfully, wondering how good her touch must feel.

"I will make sure your mom is safe and well cared while you are sick, so you can focus on getting well."

I decided to lie down next to him and stretch my knee on the bed since it had begun to throb a little. Bear decided to jump on the bed too and chew on his favorite rawhide.

"I like your mom a lot," I confessed. "She seems to be sad about something, but I hope that you and I will make her smile again. Would you like that?" I questioned the sleeping dog while my thoughts drifted back to Bella, imagining her healthy and smiling while chasing after two tail-wagging dogs.

Bear's ear perked up, and he stood still, letting me know someone was nearby. Since his tail was wagging, I figured the nurse had forgotten something and was returning to the room. She always fed him treats, so I knew that was the reason for his excited tail.

After a few minutes, he walked towards the door, and I assumed he was going to wait for her there, so I didn't bother to look after him. Instead, I placed the plush bone next to Dorito and continue my heartfelt soliloquy.

"I got you something. I know it is not a real bone, but it will make for a fun chew. Bear loves to rip these to pieces. I bet you both will have a great time spreading the left overs all over the house" I chuckled "I think your mom will get a kick out of that"

I suddenly realized I was being watched. I turned around, thinking the nurse was probably wondering about my sanity for talking to a sleeping dog. However, the nurse was nowhere in sight. I looked for Bear and I realized that Bella was standing at the door watching me.

_Oh Dear God!_

My stomach decided to turn into a butterfly fest the minute I saw her. For a moment I thought I had fallen asleep and was probably dreaming, but she was truly there, standing just a few feet away and watching _me_. She was wearing pajama pants that had puppies printed all over them and her usual hoodie. She would have looked like a little girl getting ready for bed if she hadn't pulled the hood up and burrowed her head in it while shaking with fear. Regardless, my heart was doing summersaults because I was alone with her for the first time.

However, my excitement died quickly as I remembered that Bella would probably freak out at seeing me there. I knew Alice was away, and I worried about dealing with a potential panic attack on my own. I decided to leave the room, but the crutches made it difficult for me to walk fast and she was standing next to the door making it impossible for me to leave without getting close to her. I was sure that my little squirrel would definitely not like that.

After a moment of awkward silence, I decided to talk to her and attempt to assess the situation.

"Hello, Bella. I didn't know you were awake. I am sorry, I didn't mean to intrude," I muttered nervously. "I just missed Dorito and wanted to pay him a visit. I hope you don't mind,"

Her eyes were glued to the floor, but she began to fidget nervously. I took that as a bad sign. Perhaps she didn't want me talking to her. I decided that attempting to leave would be the best option.

"uh… I can leave now if you want. I just need a minute, so I can make my way to the door. Is that ok?" I asked unsure if that would make the right move.

She finally looked up and slowly moved towards the opposite side of the bed while holding my eyes to her. Her gesture confused me, but I was so mesmerized by the depth of her eyes that I was unable to look away from them.

When she sat down on the bed, I noticed that Bear was wagging his tail excitedly and walking towards her. Thinking he would scare her, I called up to him. "Bear, stop!"

He ignored me completely and continued to approach her gingerly. My heart was beating fast and my hands began to sweat, thinking she was going to start screaming soon. However, she surprised me by reaching down to pet his head. Bear let out a little whine and placed his paws on her knees, rising up to lick her cheek while giving me his "I know better" look.

To my utter astonishment, Bella let out a small giggle when he began to lick her mercilessly. She sobered up quickly and pushed him off from her knees. She then scratched his ears in order to compensate him for the dejection. Bear was more than happy to comply, offering her his left ear for her to scratch. I stood there like a speechless idiot for a few moments, watching them become happily acquainted.

"_Snap out of it, Cullen."_ I thought to myself.

Her eyes seemed to twinkle a bit when Bear gave her hand a couple of loving licks, but she refrained from giggling. I watched her try hard to hide her joy as soon as she felt it, squashing it before it would show. For the thousandth time, I wondered what could possibly have happened to her that made her believe she did not deserve to laugh.

With that question in mind, I decided to try to talk to her. I knew it was a risky move, but since she seemed calmed, I thought I should give it a try.

"He seems to like you," I said softly, hoping not to frighten her.

Bear proved my point by licking her bare feet, causing another small giggle to escape her. My heart swelled with joy at the sound of her laughter. She looked at me for a second before she reached down to hug my dog longingly. She let out a small sigh as she held him, probably missing the embrace of her own dog. Bear was just delighted by the attention, wagging his tail furiously in order to prove it.

"I brought a toy to Dorito, I hope you don't mind. Perhaps I should have asked before. I know some people don't approve of plush toys for their dogs, but I wanted to give him something to look forward to, you know?" I said nervously as I ran my hand through my hair. "I am sorry if you think I overstepped"

She looked at my eyes again while furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. After a few moments she finally said "He loves toys. Thank you"

I sat there dumfounded. I knew my face at that moment had the excited expression my fans wear whenever I have a chance to talk to them. I think she noticed my astonishment because she kept stealing glances at me, perhaps to make sure I was not suffering a stroke.

After a few moments, I managed to connect my brain to my mouth and replied "No problem. I like to buy Bear toys because they keep his mind away from chewing my shoes to pieces. If it is ok with you, I can get some more for Dorito once he wakes up. He will need something to keep him entertained while he recoups" I replied.

Bear then walked to me and prodded my hand with his muzzle. He did this whenever he wanted me to pet him. Bella watched him, obviously amused at his over confident antics.

"He seems to know how to get what he wants" she whispered.

"Ohh you have no idea! However, he knows he needs to earn it first. Watch this!" I said excitedly as I twirled my hand in front of me, indicating to Bear that he needed to turn. Bella watched curiously as he spun in front of me and then bowed his head for me to pet him.

"Now look at this" I indicated as I patted the floor and commanded "Bear, sleep!" My dog quickly dropped to the floor and pretended to sleep.

Bella smiled _and_ giggled. Her whole face brightened up, and I swear she looked as pretty as the morning sun. However, it only lasted about a second before she retreated into her hood, hiding her joy once again. Her leg began to bounce, and she fidgeted nervously reminding me that she was uncomfortable with my presence.

"Am I making you uncomfortable? Would you like me to leave?" I asked, unable to hide the disappointment in my voice.

She didn't reply and her gaze was fixed on the bed. I thought her silence was meant as an affirmation, but I decided to play dumb in order to have a few more minutes with her.

"I am sorry for being weird. I am just not used to talk to people I don't know, it scares me," she explained nervously.

"It is ok, Bella, this may surprise you coming from an actor, but I don't like talking to strangers either. I guess in a way I am also afraid because a lot of the people that approach me have ulterior motives. I have learned that it is always a good idea to get to know a person before you let them get close," I confided.

She seemed surprised by my confession but only nodded in agreement.

"I guess the tricky part is allowing yourself to get to know the person, knowing that there is a fifty percent chance that the person may not be good to you. Still, there is much to gain if you find a good person to be your friend, and you can only do it by giving people a chance."

"I think there is too much evil in the world to even bother being part of it," she claimed.

"I read once somewhere that without the dark we would not see the stars" I replied, saddened by her pessimistic views.

"Some people do not deserve the stars" she replied emphatically.

"Yet the stars still shine for everyone," I countered.

"Perhaps some people prefer the dark," she replied.

"Even if some people hide from them, the stars still shine, hoping that those people give them a chance to brighten their night" I reasoned calmly. At this point, I knew I had become the potential star in her black night and she needed to know that I wanted nothing more than to make her happy.

She watched me carefully, weighing my words. Bear decided he needed another round of attention and jumped on the bed and laid his head on her lap. She smiled softly as she tickled his belly in return.

"I hope he is not making you uncomfortable" I whispered.

"He is ok. He seems to like attention," she replied.

"That's an understatement," I chuckled "He is truly spoiled. I try my best to be a good alpha, but he is very stubborn. I am still working on it though"

"My dad brought Dorito home when he was just a tiny ball of fur with four paws. He warned me not to let him sleep on my bed and explained the basics of being an alpha. I think I lasted two days before I gave up. His sad puppy eyes always got me. Luckily, Alice was immune to them and managed to train him properly." Her eyes brightened at the memory of her father but soon returned to their usual sadness.

"I believe you. She has managed to train my brother in just a few days. Perhaps I should let Bear spend some quality time with her" I teased.

She gave me another shy smile but did not speak again. Instead she scratched Bear's belly and focused her attention on his contented face. I thought that she was done talking to me, so I began to reach for my crutches in order to leave.

"I wanted to thank you for saving my dog. I am not sure how I would have survived if I'd lost him. You risked your life for him and allowed Alice and me to stay here and care for him. You had no obligation to accept a person like me to intrude in your home, so I will forever owe you my gratitude. I don't think I will ever be able to repay your kindness," she said nervously, delaying my departure.

"Bella, you don't need to repay me. I am enjoying having you and Alice as my guests, and I am very happy to help Dorito get better. He has been such a strong fighter; he deserves to have someone in his corner" I replied sincerely.

"I think you would be a better owner to him. I have failed him so many times that I am surprised he has not ran away on his own" she quipped.

"Bella, don't say that. Dogs don't take things personally; on the contrary, they understand our faults and show us the true meaning of forgiveness. I am sure he knows you have never meant to hurt him. He must love you very much" I had to bite my tongue in order to stop myself from adding that I would love her too, if she'd let me.

Bella began to sob uncontrollably, confusing the hell out of me. I had no idea what to do or what had made her cry like that, but I needed to stop her pain. I thoughtlessly moved close to her and wrapped her in my arms hoping to soothe her. She stilled for a moment but soon embraced me forcefully, burrowing her small frame inside my encirclement as if looking for a safe shelter. I hugged her tightly, letting her know I was there for her, that I would protect her.

After a few moments I shifted my position in order to let her rest her head on my shoulder, hoping to make her feel more comfortable. I thought that may make her let go of me, but I did not want her to be sitting uncomfortably. My fears proved to be unfounded because she never let go of me. We just sat like that for a while until her cries ebbed. I felt her sag in my arms and realized that she had fallen asleep.

I carefully leaned against the wall and shifted her in order to help her lean more comfortably against my chest. I looked at her sleeping face and was saddened to see that, even in slumber, her expression was pained. She breathed softly, and I concentrated in matching her breath, wanting to be one with her.

The next thing I was conscious of was some loud arguing coming from the hallway outside. I was trying to remember where I was and figure out what time it was when I realized I was sandwiched between a sleeping Bella and a comatose Dorito. I also noted there was a blanket covering us, and I guessed Alice must have found us there and tried to make us comfortable.

I was basking in the joy of knowing my Bella slept soundly in my arms when Carmen barged into the room, slamming the door against the wall upon her entrance. The loud noise scared Bella, and her reaction was to hide in my arms as she screamed. I tightened my arms in response hoping to calm her but she was practically ripped from my arms. Before I could protest, I felt a slap across my cheek and a blow to my head.

_What the hell?_

I was stunned for half a second before I became aware of the murderous expression of Carmen's face.

"I knew it!" she screamed. "I knew you wanted to take advantage of her! Did you drug her? What the hell did you do to my child?"

"Mother! Stop it!" Alice yelled.

Carmen turned to her and proceeded to slap her twice, making Rose gasp and Jasper jump in front of Alice, protecting her from further harm.

"How could you leave your sister alone with this asshole, Alice?" Carmen replied icily. "Where you too busy fucking your new boy toy that you could bother to care for her?"

"Shut the fuck up," I roared, unable to contain my anger "Who the hell you think you are to come into _my_ house and assault me and myguest?"

"Who the hell am I? I am the legal guardian of the girl you are taking advantage of and the mother of your _guest_," She replied sarcastically.

"What the hell are you talking about? I haven't taken advantage of Bella! I would never hurt her!" I yelled.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a little voice tried to remind me that I was yelling not only to a woman, but to Alice's mom. However, my anger at seeing her physically hurt Alice and at the way she was making Bella cry made it impossible for me to think clearly.

Carmen attempted to slap me again, but I grabbed her hand midair. "No, you won't, ma'am. You are not going to touch me again, and if you don't want me to call the police on your sorry ass, you better be leaving my property immediately!" I threatened.

Carmen glared at me in defiance as she pulled her hand away from me. "I am taking Bella home, and if you try to stop me, I would be the one to put you in jail. I will also go to the media and let them know what you are trying to do to a girl who is mentally incapacitated. By the time I am done with you, you will be lucky to find work in a circus" She menaced.

Bella's cries intensified and her breath became labored. Rose hugged her and attempted to get her out of the room, but Bella did not cooperate. Jasper got between Carmen and me, asking us to calm down while eyeing Bella meaningfully, reminding us that we were scaring her.

"Both of you please calm down. Bella is upset and this is not good for her," he said.

"Of course this is not good for her! He wants to get into her pants!" Carmen replied outraged.

"Carmen! Please, leave now!" Alice commanded.

Alice's tone and the fact that she had not referred to her as 'mom' made Carmen flinch, but she recovered quickly and walked towards Bella pulling her off the bed.

"Bella, we are going home. C'mon!" she instructed her.

Bella yelped and refused Carmen's touch.

"I don't want to leave. Please don't take me away!" she cried.

Carmen blanched at Bella's request but made no effort to stop pulling her. "Bella, you don't understand, sweetheart. These people are strangers, Bella, and they are not good people. Cullen wants to take you away from me because he wants to hurt you, baby, but you can't see it because you are too innocent. He wants to hurt you the way Marcus did" She said calmly.

Bella gasped and began to scream hysterically "I don't want to leave! Mommy! Daddy! Please make it stop! Make it stop!" as she sagged to the floor.

"Stop saying that to her! I would never hurt her. EVER!" I roared. I had no idea who Marcus was or what he had done, but judging by Bella's reaction it was something bad.

Carmen kept pushing her toward the door, undeterred by her pleas. Seeing her fight so hard to stay awoke the animal in me. I pushed Carmen off her and crouched in front of Bella. Carmen tried to bypass me and grabbed Bella's arm.

"Get your hands off her!" I growled.

"I am taking her home, I am her LEGAL guardian!" She bellowed to my face.

"Over. My. Dead. Fucking. Body!" I replied angrily while pulling Bella into my arms. Carmen would have to kill me before I let her force Bella to do something she didn't want.

"Jasper, escort this woman to the door and make sure she doesn't come back," I ordered

"I will be back in ten minutes, Cullen, with the police in tow ready to put your ass in jail," Carmen taunted me.

"I'll be waiting" I answered serenely, but my voice was laced with unadulterated ire.

**A/N: I bet you guys are really not liking Carmen by now. She means well but is completely wrong about her approach. Next week we will get Bella's view on what is going on between her and Edward. I really want to know what going on in that head of hers. Don't you? **

**Please be kind to me and leave me some love!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi guys! I am posting this a bit earlier to compensate for posting a couple of days late last week. I assure you it was not my fault. For some reason, FF did not allow me to post. I guess they were having technical issues. I do my best to post in a timely manner because I know you guys are waiting for this, and that is such an honor that I would never dream to disrespect you by leaving you hanging. **

**On a happier note, Cintia was my beta for this chapter and I thank her for her valuable work. Also, SM owns Twilight so I just play with her characters.**

**I hope you enjoy this!**

EPOV

"_I will be back in ten minutes, Cullen, with the police in tow, ready to put your ass in jail," Carmen taunted me._

"_I'll be waiting" I answered serenely, but my voice was laced with unadulterated ire_.

Carmen turned to leave, but just as she was about to walk out of the room, Alice grabbed her by the shoulders and forced Carmen to face her. Alice was eerily calm, but her eyes had fire in them. She ordered Rose to remove Bella from the room and to call Esme. I knew

"No way! Bella is leaving with me!" Carmen protested.

"Shut up, Mother!" Alice replied angrily.

"Alice, don't forget I am your mother! Don't you dare disrespect me!" Carmen spat.

"Mother? Come on! Really?" Alice asked incredulously, " You stopped being my mother a long time ago, Carmen. When was the last time you cared to ask about my life or even dared to tell me you love me? When was the last time you cared whether I ate or slept well? When was the last time you cared about my grades? Do you even know what school I go to?"

Carmen blanched at Alice's rapid questioning. It was easy to tell that she had no answers for Alice,

"What makes you feel like you have any authority to criticize my sex life? Basically calling me a whore for sleeping with different men? Do you want to know why I did that, Mother? I'll tell you. I wanted to feel loved! Isn't that ridiculous? I wanted to feel that I mattered to someone because my own mother was too busy caring for someone else to care a little bit about me!" Alice shrieked.

"Did you know that Rose was raped by her boyfriend and that was the reason she became obsessed with self defense? No? Well, Mom, I hate to break it to you, but you suck as a mother. I still held some sort of respect for you until you went through that door today and accused Edward of something so vile. He is a kind man, someone who truly cares about people. But you can't see that, can you? That's because you are rotten, Mother, and you think the world is rotten. My father left you, that's true, but that doesn't mean all men are bad. In fact, I am beginning to understand why he left you. I am surprised it took him so long!" Alice laughed sarcastically.

Carmen recoiled at Alice's words. It was almost as if Alice was striking her physically, but Alice showed no sign of remorse. She was angry and deeply hurt by her mother's actions. I was stunned to see her like that, she was always happy and smiling, and I would have never guessed she was so damaged. This only angered me more. How can a mother neglect her kids to such extent? Why was she so devoted to Bella that she forgot her own kids? What kind of mother does that?

"So now that we established what a horrible mother you have been, I hope you can understand why I am willing to fight you over Bella. Rose will request to be granted guardianship, and Esme will support her petition. We are prepared to testify and explain to the court that you are not mentally fit to care for Bella. We do have for than enough proof of your obsessive behavior with her. Also, I recorded everything you did today on my cell phone, so I am sure the judge will not be impressed with how you are treating Edward and with how you could care less about how your antics affect Bella"

Alice waved her phone and smiled at her mother mockingly. It was chilling and very scary. I could tell Jasper was worried about her but seemed unsure about how to proceed.

"If you go to the press you would not only be affecting Edward, you will affect Bella even worse. She will be hounded by paparazzi, and her face will be all over the news. I don't know about you, but the idea of Marcus knowing where she is and seeing how she has been affected by him makes me want to hurl. I will not allow it, Mother. I am willing to call my father and get him to sue you for using our trust fund to pay for Bella's medical expenses, leaving us to pay for our own College education," Alice threatened.

"You wouldn't dare! You know that Bella needed treatment and her money had run out. What did you expect me to do? Let her be hospitalized in the county hospital? You both agreed to it!" Carmen argued.

"Well, unless you can prove that to the court with a signed paper, I doubt it would help you much, so I suggest you think long and hard about what you are going to do because I am prepared to fight for Bella. Unlike you, I do care about her well-being, and I will do my damn best to make sure she gets out of the hole where you have put her. Now please leave this house and do not come back. If you decide to fight me on this mother, I'll be glad to see you in court."

Alice then walked out of the room, leaving her mother speechless. I took a chance to try to smooth things out with Carmen and told her that I did not wish any harm to Bella, and that I only wanted to help her. Carmen looked at me with such hatred that for a moment I thought she would kill me if she could.

"You have taken my entire family away from me. I am not sure how or when, but I assure you, Mr. Cullen, that you will pay for it"

She then walked out of the room, leaving me and Jasper stunned.

BPOV

"_Hello ladies," Marcus says as mom and I walk into the house. He then walks towards my mom, who is frozen in place and covering me with her body, instinctively knowing we were in danger. I am not a 14 year old kid. In here I am an adult, and I am afraid because I already know my mom and dad will be killed._

"_I see that you miss me, little Bella, so I am here for you," He explains in an overly sweet tone and with an angelic smile. His words anger me._

"_I do not miss you, nor do I want you" I answer curtly. The sight of him makes me want to puke all over the floor._

"_Oh, you do miss me, and I know you enjoyed me thoroughly. I must say your pretty little cunt was delightful. I am glad I am the only man to ever have you, well not counting my friends that is" He laughs sarcastically. I feel my stomach heave, and suddenly the images of that dreadful day flood me. I feel him on top of me, panting, hurting my innocence, and I am powerless against him. Suddenly I hear a familiar voice approach. _

"_Get the fuck off her. You won't hurt her. You will NEVER hurt her again. She is mine!" The familiar voice exclaims angrily._

"_She will never be yours, Cullen, my venom is within her, she is rotten with my seed," Marcus explains derisively._

_An angry roar is heard, and Marcus disappears from my body. I feel gentle hands caressing my face and I see green eyes full of kindness. Edward is on me now, and he kisses me kindly, lovingly, and I feel safe. Suddenly, Marcus returns and the pain is much worse, he takes my body with bloody hands and laughs incessantly. I push him hard and he disappears, but the blood is everywhere and I can hear his evil laughter. I am searching for Edward, yelling his name until I turn around and see him lying on the floor in a fetal position. His beautiful face is ashen and his skin is pale. He is dead. I walk towards a mirror and what I see in the reflection makes me scream. There is my body, with a bleeding hole where my heart used to be, and Edward's heart beating in my hands. I then realize he gave me his heart in order to give me life. _

I wake up screaming, thrashing against the bed and sweating profusely.

"Shhh, Bella, it's ok. You were dreaming," Alice says softly, while running her hand over my head.

"He is dead, Alice! Marcus killed him too!" I yell as my body began to shake uncontrollably.

"Shit, Bella calm down. It was a dream, you are okay," she soothes me.

"Edward…he is gone," I say between shivers. The pain is so much I can't breathe. I gasp, trying to get air into my dying lungs but knowing that I won't be able to survive this.

Alice leaves my side and runs out of the room. I can hear her panicked voice yelling for help.

"Alice, Marcus got to him, he is dead!" I repeat frantically.

"What are you talking about, Bella? Marcus is in jail and not able to kill anyone. We are all fine. Please relax. It was just a nightmare sweetie," she whispered.

It took me a moment to absorb her words and realize that it had been indeed a nightmare. However, I was still shocked by the fact that Mr. Cullen had been a guest start in the horrific series of dreams I was accustom to. Perhaps even more shocking was the fact that seeing him dead hurt me so bad that I wished I was the one dead. I also noted how stupid my subconscious was, pretending that I could be worth enough to hold his heart, both figuratively and literally.

"Bella, I know you are stressed about living here, but it's the best thing we can do for Dorito. Do you think that Charlie would be happy if you were to go home and leave him here? Do you remember what he told us when he brought him home?"

Alice question made me uncomfortable. She knew I did not like to talk about my parents, and she was breaking the rules. If Carmen was here, she would have already admonished and saved me from the trouble of having to recall such painful memories.

"Alice, you know I don't like to think about that," I said sternly.

"Well, I am sorry, Bella but I think it is time for you to take responsibility for your actions. For years you have hidden behind your medication and your painting in order to avoid reality without caring about the rest of the world. I know you are suffering, believe me I do, but it kills me to see that you have forgotten them! Charlie would have never approved of your behavior and you know it!" Alice replied almost angrily.

I felt the blood in my veins begin to boil. How dare she accuse me of not being responsible? How can she say these things to me? I thought she was my friend, more like a sister, how dare she hurt me like this?

"What the hell are you talking about, Alice? I HAVE been responsible for my actions! I got my parents killed and because of that I have refused to live, God dammit! Do you know why I don't eat anything but grilled chicken and veggies? No? It is because I hated that food before they died, so now that I got them killed is only fair for me to eat that disgusting shit all the time." I snapped at her with a shaky voice.

"Bella…"

"No, Alice, you need to get this so you can stop being a self-righteous bitch. I don't eat sweets anymore, I don't dance, and I don't have friends or watch T.V. This is how I am taking responsibility for my actions! I know it is not nearly enough to pay for their deaths, nothing would ever be, and that hurts like hell so please excuse me for not wanting to remember my parents. It hurts too damn much." I sobbed.

Alice looked stunned for a few minutes but soon she began to cry. I felt bad because Alice never cries, but I was angry because she had accused me of being irresponsible and because she made me think of my dad. I knew he would not approve of me leaving Dorito unattended. I did remember the day he brought him home to us and how he explained to Alice and me that Dorito was a living creature and therefore required lots of love and care, and we needed to be responsible moms to him. He warned us that there would be times where we would want to do other things besides caring for him, but that we needed to remember we were the only people he had in the world, and he needed us in order to be healthy and happy. Gosh! This hurts! I miss my dad so much.

"Bella, I am really sorry if you think I said that in order to hurt you. That was not my intention. I just feel so frustrated and angry sometimes because I loved Charlie and Renee, they were almost my parents too, you know? And I know that they must be terribly unhappy wherever they are because I let you waste away and turn into a living corpse. Charlie once told me that nothing made him happier than seeing his girls happy. Those words haunt me, Bella, because I know how miserable I feel when I look at you, so I can only imagine how much he suffers, and I hate knowing that." Alice explained between sobs.

"What truly infuriates me, Bella, is knowing that Marcus won. He won in every possible way. He wanted to hurt Charlie and destroy his family. He failed to kill you, but he did destroy you. You stopped living. Sometimes I close my eyes and remember his stupid laugh in the courtroom when he got sentenced, and how he smirked at me as they took him away. He knew he had won, there was nothing left of Charlie or his family and that angers me, Bella, so much that I have wished him dead every day since then."

Her words cut me deep. I felt like each one of those words were knives to my heart.

"He did win, Alice, but there is nothing I can do about it now. I wish I could have died with them, but that didn't happen, so now I just have to live my life craving for death to take me soon, so I can be with them again," I replied, desperately trying to hold myself together.

"I wish he hadn't, Bella. I wish you could see that your parents died defending you, hoping that you could survive. I am sure they were not expecting you to become a damn zombie once you did. You didn't kill them, Bella, Marcus did. They chose to die for you, so that you could live a happy life. The fact that you survived all that makes me so proud and thankful of their sacrifice, and I wish you could honor it by learning to be happy again. I dream of the day I can go spit in Marcus face how happy you are. Tell him that you got married and gave Charlie many grandkids or that you have a successful career and are living life fully, effectively turning Charlie's dreams into a reality."

I scoffed at her words. There was no way I would ever be married. Who could want me like this? There was no way I would ever let a man touch me the way Marcus did, so it was impossible for me to have kids.

Alice looked at me as if she was reading my thoughts. She took a long breath and then continued her attack.

"I am not saying it will be easy, Bells. God only knows how much you have suffered, but I know you are strong and you can do this. There is a world out there waiting for you. I want you to experience what it is like to love, Bella, to have a man care for you and protect you. To have someone show you the majesty of making love, not the vicious and disgusting attack you suffered, but the act of giving your soul to someone and receive his in return.

You just have to learn to fight, Bella, fight your fears and don't hide behind a pill. I promise you that not all the men are evil. Look at Edward! He is the kindest person I have ever met. His family is amazing, and I can tell you, without a doubt, that I will marry his brother one day" she said wistfully.

"What?! Alice, are you crazy? You just met the guy! How can you say such thing?" I asked, flabbergasted.

"Bella, it is impossible for me to explain it to you, but when you meet the person that is destined to be yours, you just know. Jasper makes me feel complete, safe, loved. I don't know him well, but I can feel he is the one for me."

"Are you sure?" I questioned dubiously.

"Very sure, so please try to think of him as my future husband and let him be your friend, Bella, or at least don't freak out when you see him. Please?" she begged using her sad puppy eyes, knowing I could never say no to them.

"Okay, but I can't promise much. I feel weird around people, Alice, you know that." I replied, arching my brow for emphasis.

"Thank you, Bells! You are the best. Now, please think about what I said, and make an effort to relax. I hate to see you so anxious and stressed for being here. Dorito needs you, and you won't be able to care for him if you are medicated," She said emphatically.

After Alice put me to bed, I began to think about the things she had said. Esme had pretty much mentioned the same things to me during therapy, but for some reason, hearing them from Alice made me see them from my parents' perspective.

I knew in my heart that my parents would have liked for me to be strong and live a happy life, that's what parents usually want, but I also knew that it was unfair for me to enjoy life when they could not. Besides, no matter what they say, I believe it is my fault that they got shot. If I would have cooperated with Marcus, and not gotten scared, they would not have felt the need to protect me. If I would have not insisted on going to the pet store, maybe Marcus wouldn't have entered our home or, if he did, my dad would have had time to grab his gun.

I also considered what she said about Marcus winning. After I got out of the hospital, I found out that the reason Marcus attacked us was because my dad had lead an investigation that ended up incarcerating his brother Aro, who was a notorious drug dealer. Marcus revenge for taking his brother away was to kill us and make him watch as he did it. My dad fought them so hard that, at the end, they ended up killing him before he could witness our pain and my mom's death. At least in that regard, Marcus did not win.

I think that Alice is right. If I was stronger and could lead a somewhat normal life, it would be the perfect revenge against Marcus. He would know that he didn't end us, that I survived, and therefore Charlie would win the war. Unfortunately, I am too scared, too damaged to be that strong person. I would love to have kids so that Charlie's legacy continued, strong ad proud like him, but I know there is no way I could ever let a man touch me. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I can't even stand being around men, so there is no way I could ever sleep with one. I guess what Marcus said in my dream was right, he will be the only one that owns me, his rotten seed of fear is imbedded in me so deeply that no one will be able to remove it, not even Edward Cullen. I am still shocked at how he appeared in my dream out of nowhere to save me, to give me his life, his heart. A man like him deserves another woman, someone pretty and healthy, and someone that gives him everything he desires. He would never love someone like me and, for some reason that makes me sad.

It has been a few days since we arrived here, and I am lot more relaxed. Edward kept his promise and no one really bothers me. I have become friends with Dorito's nurse and Ms. Cope, the housekeeper, so I spend my time talking to them while Alice is at school. I miss Carmen terribly, and I feel very bad to know she hates Edward. He doesn't seem to be the evil man she thinks he is, and it upsets me that she feels like she has to protect me from him. I know I am not exactly sane, but I am not a child. Alice is right when she says I have the right to make decisions over my own life. I feel safe here, I actually feel relaxed and my room is very peaceful. I just hope that Carmen understands and doesn't get Edward in trouble.

I know she was very upset when she found me sleeping with Edward. She accused him of wanting to take advantage of me the way Marcus did and that was unacceptable. I don't remember much of what happened, but when I woke up Edward and Alice were sitting next to me. He kept apologizing to me for causing me to have a panic attack. He explained that he never meant to scare me, but he felt he had to fight Carmen in order to defend my right to stay. I honestly could not even remember that Carmen had found us sleeping in the same bed. I was incredibly angry when Alice told me Carmen threatened to go to the press and cause a scandal. I would never allow Carmen to do something so horrible.

Alice of course was proud of Edward because he didn't even flinch at her threats. I felt saddened to know we were causing so many problems to him. I cannot understand why Edward would be willing to risk his career and go through so much trouble just to keep a sick dog and his crazy owner around. I guess it only proves that he truly is a kind man. How can Carmen not see that?

Perhaps I should just give up and take Dorito home. I feel kind of selfish knowing I am causing a rift between Carmen and her daughters. She has given me so much that I feel is very ungrateful of me to be causing her so much distress, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Dorito would die, and I don't think I could survive with another death in my conscience. I also know Edward would be very sad if I take Dorito away from him, and I cannot stand the idea of being responsible for his pain. I know how much he cares about him, and I am sure Dorito must care about him too, if he can somehow listen to his endless words of encouragement. I am so torn about everything.

"Bella, do you mind if come in?" Edward's voice interrupts my troubled thoughts, immediately spiking my heartbeat and causing my stomach to jump all over.

"Sure," I answer as calmly as possible.

I see him hobble his way to the bed where I am sitting, and I cannot help but smile when his beautiful green eyes met mine.

"Hey, pretty girl, how are you doing?" He asks, returning my smile with one of his own.

"I am just here thinking. Your dad came to check on me earlier, and Esme will be here soon, so I wanted to check on Dorito for a bit." I reply, the words coming out of my mouth much too fast, making my nervousness clear.

"Are you ok with me here?" He asks worried

"Yes, I am ..uh..not scared of you anymore. I know you won't hurt me" I reply, unable to keep the blood from flooding my cheeks.

Edward smiles like a kid who has just been given candy and looks at me with so much tenderness that I feel the urge to hug him. I clench my hands in order to stop me from doing so.

"Does that mean that we are friends now?" He asks cautiously.

"I don't see why you would want me as your friend, but if that's what you want, I guess I can try," I reply while fidgeting nervously. What is it about him that makes me feel so … giddy?

I cannot understand why he affects me this way. My body craves him. I long for his touch, his embrace. I feel like a total fool.

"Bella, nothing makes me happier than knowing you trust me and that you are willing to be my friend. I want to get to know you, Bella. You don't have to tell me your past if you don't want to, but please let me be part of your future"

The sincerity of his statement makes my will crumble, and I launch myself at him. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and can't help but feel this is my favorite place in the world. I hug him tightly, letting my body do the talking.

"Hey, are you ok, beautiful?" He asks, undoubtedly surprised by my sudden outburst.

My only response is a nod. I cannot speak. I just bask in the safety of his arms and absorb all I can of him. I want to feel as much of him as I can. Nothing makes sense to me but the absolute relief I feel while being in his arms.

"Bella," he whispers "I cannot tell you how happy I feel when you let me hug you. I feel complete, like I am finally home. Do you feel that too, baby?"

Baby? He called me baby! Wait… does this mean he want me as a woman? Surely friends don't call each other baby. What am I supposed to say?

_Tell him the truth Bella. _The little voice inside my head instructs me.

"Yes, Edward. I fell happy when you hug me too, but I don't think that is right. We should not feel this way. It's wrong. I am not a normal woman, Edward; I could never give you what you desire. You deserve better" I respond sadly.

"Bella, please don't ever put yourself down. You are precious, a beautiful girl who deserves the world and I don't ever want to hear you say otherwise," He says sternly as he forces me to look into his eyes.

The look in his eyes makes my insides melt. He is so close to my face that for a second I let myself look at his lips, they look so soft so luscious and wet. Something inside me begs me to touch them. Luckily, I have enough sense to turn away and push his hand off my face.

"Bella, please don't shut me out. I don't want anything more than you can give me. If all I can do is hug you, then that is all I will desire. Please don't keep me from being happy," he pleads.

I nod again, this time trying desperately to keep the tears from flowing. Right now, I hate Marcus more than anything. He robbed me of the chance to love, to know what is like to kiss a man and have him love me. I wish I could be like Alice, who has no reservations about her love for Jasper. She can kiss him, touch him, and I know soon she will let him take her body and her soul. It saddens me that I will never be able to do that. I have no doubt in my mind that if I could, Edward would be the person I would share my everything with.

"Do you want to take a walk with me around the property? We can celebrate our newborn friendship by feeding the ducks in the little pond we have," he asks excitedly.

I look at his crutches dubiously because I know that walking isn't exactly easy for him. He seems to read my thoughts because he quickly adds "We have golf carts. It won't be difficult." He then proceeds to give me a mischievous smirk and a sexy wink. This man will be the death of me, I swear he will.

I soon find myself walking next to a man I don't know much of, and feeling completely happy about it. I think Alice is right, maybe I can be happy again if I fight hard enough against my fear. I know that Edward Cullen would totally be worth the fight.

**A/N: aww! I don't know about guys but I am soooo cheering for Bella. I am thrilled that she is finally lucid enough to make decisions for herself and I don't blame her for wanting to fight for Edward. Can you imagine receiving one of those sexy smirks? I think he could convince me to do pretty much anything.**

**Next week, we will get to see more of our love birds. We also get Esme involved, I kind of miss her don't you?**

**Please review and make my heart happy :)**


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